"Don't Boo– Pathmark."

The ProofrEADJer: Pre Black Friday Edition

NEW YEAR'S PROJECT! Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Build Your Own Composting Toilet

Building a composting toilet is actually quite easy.  With some simple tools and some elbow grease, you can quickly convert your turds into compost for your garden. Here's how to build a composting toilet in time for your evening constitution:

1) Build a hinged toilet box 18" wide and 21" long. Get two boards 3/4"X10"X18" and two 3/4"X10"X19.5". Get two hinges. Get one piece of 3/4"X18"X18" plywood and one 3/4"X3"X18". Hinge the two pieces of plywood together.

2) Cut a hole in the larger piece of plywood to fit the top of a 5 gallon toilet receptacle. Make sure the hole is only 1.5" back from the front edge of the plywood. Always use identical receptacles in a composting toilet so they will all fit correctly. Buy a standard toilet seat.

3) Mark holes on the box for the toilet seat as you fit it in place. Drill the holes and attach!

And speaking of "attach," when hiring one of my limos for a trip, please don't show up and request that I tow a trailer or mount a luggage rack on top. I have a corporate image to maintain, folks. Stay safe, kids.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With How To Organize A Protest

Decide on a time and location for your protest. This is probably the simplest step, but it does require a little thought and consideration on your part. If you're protesting a business or organization with just one location, then the choice is obvious. But if you're targeting a company with multiple locations in your area, try to pick one that has a lot of foot or car-traffic...after all, your goal is for as many people to see you as possible.

Once you have worked out the specifics of your protest, your next step will be to get the word out about your event. Make a flyer informing people about your demonstration. Be sure to include the date, time, and location of your event, as well as a brief narrative about why exactly you are protesting. You can hang these flyers around town and give one to anyone you meet who might be interested in attending your demonstration. There are a few occasions where you might need to get a permit. If you want to protest inside a shopping center or other "private property," you'll need to ask the owner beforehand. Also, if you are planning to use amplified sound equipment (like a bullhorn or a microphone) or if you expect more than 25 people, you should check with the city first.

Which reminds me, never pick up animal rights activists in your limo. They'll stink up the car with patchouli and some will even slash the seats if they're leather. I think one guy even left lice. Dirty people.

Saucy!

(pictured above, a pretty bad marketing idea: making food more tasty to animals who readily lick their own assholes)

Let's Juggle and Squeeze the Two Rounded Bottoms of the EADJ Mail Sack!

(submitted by Ryan B)

"Joel should hang his mouth on it."

The Suzemily Players, Act II

(pictured above, The Suzemily Players reenact yet another scene from Grey's Anatomy)