Saucy!

(pictured above, a pretty bad marketing idea: making food more tasty to animals who readily lick their own assholes)

Guest Writer Appearance for Today: CANCELLED

(As part of EADJ Guest Writer Week, today's entry has been submitted by Larry Liss.)

Actually, no.

Larry would have written something about Joel eating dick here, but apparently he was too busy. It would have been funny and poignant and a clever analogy to how life is in these mean streets. You probably would have read it twice, wept, then copy-and-pasted the entry to send to your estranged parents, because it touched you in some profound way.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Dingdang!

(pictured above, a building-wide search turns desperate, and more people volunteer to track down the shorter, fatter version of Scott Peterson)

***UPDATE!!!!!*** There's a break in the manhunt, as the real Scott Peterson's assistant Joe Nudelman (don't laugh) spots the shorter, fatter version of Scott Peterson in the elevators this very morning! Stay tuned to EADJ for the latest in this developing story.