Showing posts with label exxon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exxon. Show all posts
Friday, March 8, 2019
Monday, June 30, 2008
An Eco-pportunity
The rise of biofuels as an alternative to petroleum is changing the economic landscape, as well as creating new demand in areas heretofore overlooked. One major untapped market: Joel's ass.
It's been known for a while that Joel gobbles a sweet ton of dick. The sheer quantity of dick is already a viable source of energy. But imagine all that dick concentrated in Joel's bowels into one brick. That brick can power the next 40 Space Shuttle missions!
This would lead not only to America's independence from foreign oil but to a whole new way to power the planet. Joel would continue to eat dick, but we could harness that energy into an endless supply of energy for schools, water pumps, complicated cantilevers, and dick-powered blunderbusses! A new highly-concentrated measure of energy, the "Joelturd," (Jt), or "J-Brick," could be used to advance civilization!
And Joel could make like, a hundred bucks!
It's been known for a while that Joel gobbles a sweet ton of dick. The sheer quantity of dick is already a viable source of energy. But imagine all that dick concentrated in Joel's bowels into one brick. That brick can power the next 40 Space Shuttle missions!
This would lead not only to America's independence from foreign oil but to a whole new way to power the planet. Joel would continue to eat dick, but we could harness that energy into an endless supply of energy for schools, water pumps, complicated cantilevers, and dick-powered blunderbusses! A new highly-concentrated measure of energy, the "Joelturd," (Jt), or "J-Brick," could be used to advance civilization!
And Joel could make like, a hundred bucks!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Pop Quiz
One is a public bathroom at an Exxon station on the New Jersey Turnpike. The other is a bathroom at an office building at an advertising agency in Manhattan. Which would you rather use?
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