UAG

Synopses For Upcoming Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Injustices"

Charlie is forced to confront his own racism when he makes a broad statement about tan people being subhuman. A runaway from Olivetown reveals they are the mayor's illegitimate daughter and throws the upcoming election in turmoil. An unsolved murder remains unsolved.

"Dual Loyalties"

Charlie arranges a meeting of all the Colorforms City gang leadership, only to find out it was a trap set by the police. A hidden camera in a motel room becomes an instant moneymaker for Charlie. Colorforms women lose the right to vote.

"Down, Motherfucker"

Joshua and Ellie help kids learn how to count to 20. Drug lords in the Purple Pink neighborhood take over the surrounding suburb turf and expand their distribution. A train yard murder reveals an entire population of C.H.U.D.s living under Colorform City.

Some Terrible But Available Pornstar Names

Welcome to Exxxotic Productions! I'm sure you're ready to get started, but before you get on that water bed and hump in front of the cameras, we're going to need you to fill out these tax forms, sign this NDA, and then pick out a pornstar name from this shoebox. Don't worry– none of these have ever been used by someone else, and you'll find out with good reason:

Males

Fenton Nil

Asper Inne

Putin Mydickinyou

Crymore Liberals

*Very* Deep Roy

Females

Eiffel T. That

Kara Pace

Sara Tonin

Shen Yun (she’ll never stop bothering you afterward)

G. Lori Hole

Fringe Backdrop

Episode Summaries For This Week's Chicago ____________ on NBC

The following are episode synopses for Chicago Med, Chicago Fire, and Chicago P.D., all on NBC.

Chicago Med

Season 7, Episode 6: "Cuntography"

Bailey's patients all develop infections shortly after she visits a bodega salad bar. Dr. Ackerlee makes a supernatural prediction about the mysterious kid in ICU. The basement is flooded with pus.

Chicago Fire

Season 8, Episode 3: "Sophie Ellis-Bextor's Choice"

Chief Hargrove develops a crush on the Bulls mascot. Two fire stations claim jurisdiction over Soldier Field as it burns. Somebody left a brat in Jonesy's locker for the 8 weeks he was on vacation.

Chicago P.D.

Season 12, Episode 4: "Hardly As Hard"

Gambino strikes it rich on a scratch off ticket and pays off all his poker debts. Detective Lambert and Kimmy make an arrest at an antiques and esoteric book dealer, where they discover a mysterious amulet with the power to bend reality and transport you through multiple dimensions and Intellectual Properties. Barker's meter maid cart gets stolen again.

Doppelgänger Time!

A first: a Melinda doppelgänger, complete with jean jacket!

Vince found "Hawaiian John Reid"

On an in-flight magazine I found giggly chef Andrew.

Here's Mike B's twin brother

Vince found "Italian John Reid" and captured him in both photo and in motion:

The Latest McDonald's Happy Meal Prize Toys

 Note: Although this is dated April 1, this is post featuring real McDonald's promotional toys.

The most recent wave of Happy Meal toys is very self referential and arguably UN-fun: Introducing Lil McDonald's, miniature versions of your favorite McDonald's things that you find sitting around McDonald's, but in playable MINIATURE form that you can take home! Great, right? Let's check out these amazing new toys:

Look, the legendary McDonald's broken ice cream machine! And the toy doesn't do anything, JUST LIKE THE REAL THING!

Not to be confused with the ice cream machine is the almost-identical McDonald's CONDIMENT DISPENSER. Who asked for this? Not your kids!

Okay, a Happy Meal on a tray. Fine. Maybe check inside that miniature Happy Meal box for a more fun prize.

Hey, check it out. A drive through order station. Now you can make your Hot Wheels cars pull around and order fast food because they don't have enough time to sit down for a healthier lunch. Fun!

The next few miniatures are possibly the most mystifying toys that no kid is asking for: METHODS OF PAYMENT!

First off, yaaaay, the kiosk in McDonald's that's taken the place of ordering at the counter! Scroll through the menu on a dirty screen to order what would take 5 seconds talking to a real person! Then take a number and sit your ass down!

For those lucky enough to order with a worker at a register, here's the McDonald's register / swipe station. Now Barbie can pay for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal with her credit card. Counter and apathetic Mickey D's employee not included.

Look, it's a miniature smart phone loaded with the McDonald's app that they're always asking you to use now when you order so they can track your McDonald's purchase history! This is a BRANDING HEAVEN / DYSTOPIAN NIGHTMARE!