The Horror That Is Public Domain

As of Jan. 1, 2024, the original Mickey Mouse from the 1928 cartoon film Steamboat Willie became public domain. And like lots of other properties that lost their copyright, Mickey was quickly turned into a horror movie:

Why is this always the inevitable fate of old cartoons? Do filmmakers still think this is edgy and hilarious? Are people even going to a theatre to see these? Your guess is as good as mine.

(I think the most enjoyable thing about these is reading the corny taglines on the movie posters.)

Shark... Terror?

The movie poster is out for the low budget Asylum flick Shark Terror (2025) directed by Mario N. Bonassin and starring Michael Paré, Sarah Lieving, Carly Medina, and Javier Duran. And it is odd. Odd that instead of showing the eponymous terror in the presence of a shark, the photographer got Carly Medina to look... annoyed?

"Give me... They lost my luggage!"

"Give me... I can't believe they invited Cody to the party knowing I was going to be here!"

"Give me... Excuse me, I specifically asked for NO CASHEWS in my salad."

"Give me... You're whipping it out on our second date?!"

"Give me... CVS won't honor Walgreens coupons? Since when?"

"Give me... My mother in law wants to name the baby?"

"Give me... Tariffs are a tax that consumers ultimately pay?"

Doppelgänger Time!

A first: a Melinda doppelgänger, complete with jean jacket!

Vince found "Hawaiian John Reid"

On an in-flight magazine I found giggly chef Andrew.

Here's Mike B's twin brother

Vince found "Italian John Reid" and captured him in both photo and in motion:

Coming Soon

A movie based on a TV show that's only showing in theaters.

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

Previous dumb entries here.

"Dry hump me to orgasm, Frankie!"

"That ain't tea- that's my weed! Snoogy snoogins cheerio 'n shit, fat boy!"

"I dunno about you, Sven, but I still can't get that fucking song out of my head!"

"That's the last time I let the Conquistador drive my aircraft carrier through Teepee Village!"

(unintelligible mumbling)

"Mom and Dad, the nightingale told me what happened! And let me tell you so that the audience can understand what the heck is going on in this thrown-together horror movie!"

"This soda was flat, but I'm still burping! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?"

Hey, Even More Perks Of Being An AMC Stubs Card Member!

Nobody goes to the movies anymore, because the only ones that do are inconsiderate assholes who text and talk and throw shit on the floor like it's their goddamn fucking living room. But those brave souls who still pay box office prices for the theatre experience can also be AMC Stubs Rewards members, now with these new positive perks:

• Free name tag on your shirt spelled in cursive with nacho cheese

• Complimentary lice consultation after sitting in our seats

• If your mom calls, we'll tell her you're too busy getting laid, wink wink

• Free parking lot 5 miles away with a $10 shuttle ride to the theatre

• Free giant Gummi dong that you'll never finish during the movie and will have to take home and explain to your wife

• We will sit behind you and throw popcorn in your hair, just like in high school

• Complimentary "view vest" which is branded with the AMC logo but doesn't do a damn thing except turn you into a walking advertisement

• If you have large knockers, we will be sure to compliment you on them

More Unknown Perks of the AMC Stubs Rewards Card

Previous entry here.

If you're already a member of AMC Stubs, you already know that you receive tons of great movie benefits, like a free large popcorn refill with every visit, waived online ticketing fees, and a $5 reward for every 5,000 points earned! But did you know there are also some amazing benefits that you may not have heard about? CHECK THESE REWARDS OUT:

• $40 off any small popcorn

• Free Kevin Spacey movie screenings

• After-showing lessons on how to jump away from explosions

• Free surgery (elective and otherwise) for life

• One free overnight stay at the "Princess Suite" in the Taj Mahal in Agra, India

• Legally-immune permission to ransack the shit out of any Dollar Store

• You become one of the public faces of the #MeToo movement

• A free knuckle sandwich, for those of you who need one

• Become ordained as a Catholic priest on Thursdays

• PROTECTION FROM THE EVIL EYE

• Members named Gary are welcome to go fuck themselves

• Free nap in the AMC Stubs Rewards Dumpster

A Satisfied Customer

Dad enjoys these little backyard gladiator fights.

"That's right, you little shits. Kill each other for Daddy."