Synopses For Upcoming Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Countdown"

When a blogger threatens to attack a school, it's up to Charlie and his pals to hunt him down and kill him.

"Territory"

Charlie confronts a drug dealer who says he "accidentally" started dealing on his turf. A new mob boss requests a meeting with Charlie's friend Tugboat.

"Keyless Entry"

Charlie's ties to the Russian mob almost disqualify him from receiving a key to Coloforms City from the mayor. Luckily, he pays off the city council and the ceremony goes forward.

"Extra Extra!"

The bodies of several prostitutes end up near the Colorforms factory and the local paper threatens to break the story. Charlie makes it all go away by threatening the journalists' families.

Some More Available But Dumb Pornstar Names

Welcome to the Valley! We’re about to start shooting your first big scene. But before cameras start rolling, you'll need to have a pornstar name– you know, a unique handle that we can tag your videos with. Here's a stripper heel shoebox full of porn names that you can pick from. Help yourself to any of it, but watch out– a lot of these are pretty stupid:

Him

Luis Goos, Man

Colin Oscopy

R. Kaid 

Philippe Navidad

Yass Queen

Her

Noma Larkey
Grammar Lee
Buenos Diaz

Pupa Moji

Yass Queen

"Never Try To Discourage Thinking, For You Are Sure To Pathmark."

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Well, time to WRAP this whole adventure up!" *lame laughter track*

"Holy shit, are you Ryan Gosling?"

"No, are you Michelle Williams?"

"No."

"AAAAAHHHHHH!!!! AAHHHHH! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Are you ready to race?"

"No."

"From tha muthafuckin' streets of Dayton Ohio, bitches, we RUN THIS BITCH."

"If you have your hand up in me, who has their hand up in you?"

Uh... is this movie real? Pass.

"Jeez, fans of Olivia Newton John probably never knew how hard she was to work with behind the scenes." 

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-July Edition

UAG

No, Thank YOU!

Pictured below, a Door Dasher captures perfectly the reception he gets from our dog Bear: