No Title

Saw this courtroom sketch in the news. Had to do something with it.

No, Not the Same

A search on Indeed for "Creative Director" brings up a partial match.

Some More Available But Dumb Pornstar Names

Welcome to the Valley! We’re about to start shooting your first big scene. But before cameras start rolling, you'll need to have a pornstar name– you know, a unique handle that we can tag your videos with. Here's a stripper heel shoebox full of porn names that you can pick from. Help yourself to any of it, but watch out– a lot of these are pretty stupid:

Him

Luis Goos, Man

Colin Oscopy

R. Kaid 

Philippe Navidad

Yass Queen

Her

Noma Larkey
Grammar Lee
Buenos Diaz

Pupa Moji

Yass Queen

New EADJ Segment: What Happened Next

This spring-themed set of stickers that came with an April issue of Children's Highlights Magazine looks happy and innocent enough, but EADJ dug deeper and discovered what happened next after these stickers were produced.

Ladybug Couple: a few weeks after these two got together, the female ladybug gave birth to a litter of what looked like half ladybug/half termite larvae. The male ladybug was so distraught with her infidelity, he pulled a one night stand with a praying mantis.

Cool Frog: drunk from a very strong mojito, the frog didn't realize that his inner tube had caught a riptide and had drifted to a shark-infested area. His surviving family wondered why a frog would choose to venture out into saltwater. "I guess his drinking problem got the better of him," his sister said at the wake.

Skating Lizard: This lizard's radical skate tricks caught the attention of the Sobe Energy Drink Company, and they promptly asked him to be a spokesperson for their Offshore Breeze flavor. This minor fame, however, caused him great grief with family members who suddenly started claiming he owed them money.

He hasn't spoken to his siblings for 3 years since.

Ant Picnic: Not long after this ant scene was published on a sticker, authorities wanted to know who could bake such a small sized muffin. The two ants refused to answer, but later claimed the muffin was a one-of-a-kind prop for the photoshoot. Unfortunately, the authorities did not believe them and launched a full investigation into the ants' business dealings. The ants lawyered up and fought the investigation but were ultimately found to be both delinquent in taxes and in failure to report that underage ants were manufacturing tiny red sneakers with socks.

The ants also refused to answer why they only had four legs.

EADJ Is Brought To You This Week By Springer Dog Exerciser

Do you and your dog love the outdoors? Does one of you like to get exercise? Then gear up with the Springer Dog Exerciser, a revolutionary new way to take your dog for a walk without getting off your fat ass! Ride around the park while your dog struggles to keep up! Coast through busy streets while your dog tromps his way over potholes and sleeping hobos just to stop from getting strangled!

But don't take our word for it. Here's Internationally Known Dog Fighter Doctor Yuri Dotretskov: 

"Put spring on bike. Spring hold leash. Dog forced to follow bike."

And just listen to what some of our customers have to say:

"They say that eating right and getting exercise is the best way to a long, healthy life. For dogs. I'll have a Quarter Pounder with Cheese large combo. With a Diet Coke. Is the sundae machine working?" -Amber, 29 on the phone

"I hate exercise almost as much as I hate my dog. Thanks, Springer Dog Exerciser!" -Pete, 28

"Hurry the fuck up, Lola! We have to get home to catch the 'Dancing With The Stars' recap show!"  -Margaret, 38

Springer Dog Exerciser. Now You Got The Hook Up™!