And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Pressure Wash a Driveway

Stains on concrete are not only ugly, they can also weaken the surface of your driveway. For this, a pressure washer is fast and efficient. Here are steps to cleaning a driveway with a pressure washer: 

1) Prepare the area. Using a broom or leaf blower, clear loose material like stone, dirt and other debris off the driveway surface. 

2) Prepare your pressure washer. Connect the spray wand to the washer using a pressure hose and the washer to a water supply using a garden hose. Different nozzles are available for different purposes. For applying the detergent, use the low-pressure nozzle. For rinsing, use a high-pressure nozzle.

3) Spray the concrete. Sweep the nozzle steadily back and forth across the surface, overlapping each stroke by several inches.

4) Seal the concrete. After the concrete has dried completely, apply a sealant to help ward off future stains. Allow the surface to set for 24 hours before using the driveway.

And speaking of surfaces, one time I wasn't looking and a lady was cutting lines of cocaine on the HOOD OF MY LIMO. Needless to say she didn't get a ride home. Be safe, kids!

UAG

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-July Edition

Sure Enough, It's Time Once Again To Say Goodbye To Shit That Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

A pictorial tribute to hack lazy copywriting.

Goodbye! Bye! Goodbye! Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

6 Lies Told By The Chuck E. Cheese Birthday Party Pamphlet

1) "Your birthday boy or girl can choose between a 'Superhero' or a 'Princess' theme package." There is actually a third, less popular option: "College Grad Moving Back Home."

2) If you choose the Batman superhero theme, Chuck E. Cheese will gladly murder your parents in the nearby alley.

3) Goody Bags are sometimes Averagey Bags, based on market

4) LOL

5) Punching out your birthday candles is not as effective as blowing them out but is doubly hilarious.

6) For an extra $50 off the books, most of the male managers will show fathers their tits.

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EADJ is proud to announce the grand opening of 6 Lies Youth Centers all around the metropolitan area!

These "6LYC" centers are designed to provide a 24-hour relaxed, authority-free space for kids to smoke, to talk, and to smoke. Please keep in mind, there is no security guard on the premises after 2am, so if you want to show up and start some shit, you'll want to do it around 2:30am.