The ProofrEADJer: Mid-July Edition

The ProofrEADJer, August Edition

HIGH BACK TASK CHAIR HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU

LISTEN UP PUSSIES

PUT DOWN THE PEN YOU'RE STICKING UP YOUR VAGINA, CUZ THIS SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL

HIGH BACK DESK CHAIR IS HERE TO BOTH SUPPORT YOUR WEAKLING BACK AND HELP YOU GET SHIT DONE, SON.

WITH ADJUSTABLE ARMRESTS AND NEWLY-ADDED LUMBAR SUPPORT, THE AMOUNT OF SHIT YOU CAN GET ACCOMPLISHED JUST QUINTUPLED, YOU SAGGING, FAILING COCKSUCKERS.



MESH BACK, CHECK.

ADJUSTABLE HEIGHT, CHECK.

TILT BACK FUNCTION? YES, BUT FUCK THAT SHIT. YOU ARE GOING TO BE GOING WHITE-KNUCKLE SERIOUS WITH THE AMOUNT YOU'RE SCRATCHING OFF YOUR TO DO LIST. FUCKING KILL THAT STACK OF TIMESHEETS. FUCKING DECIMATE THOSE EXPENSE REPORTS. FUCKING FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OUT OF THAT BUDGET SPREADSHEET. GODDAMN, WHAT A RUSH, RIGHT? THAT SHIT FEELS GOOD, GETTING ALL THAT SHIT SERVED.

HIGH BACK WILL CATCH YOU WHENEVER YOU GO, "FUCKING SNAP, LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT I JUST GOT DONE!" AND GET BLOWN TO THE BACK OF YOUR OFFICE SPACE. HIGH BACK TASK CHAIR HAS GOT YOUR BACK AND YOUR ASS, YOU FUCKING SNIVELING CUNTRAG.

BE A MAN AND FUCKING PARK YOUR HIPS IN THIS SHIT. GET SHIT DONE. DONE.

A Helpful Hint

Need ideas for a playlist name in iTunes? Look on bathroom walls!



They also make for good mafioso nicknames or something a grandpa on a sitcom would mutter when he hits his thumb with a hammer.