Still In Business!

Although Bed Bath and Beyond has closed most of their stores nationwide, their website continues to show that they're still affordable and essential for today's shoppers.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of November 19, 2018

Bigamy is the act of going through a marriage ceremony while already married to another person. I'm not sure what that has anything to do with unpopular Twitter hashtags, but I got bored writing the same intro for this segment. Here are hashtags nobody uses:

#haggissliders

#Trumpdignity

#cornbreadfarts

#DoratheColonizer

#bitcoinphilanthropist

#Napasoulmusicfestival

#thisiswhyIgotintoembalming

#whyyesIdlovetotakeashortsurveyforyou

#learningsomethingfromaFacebookargument

#caughtbetweenarockandaslightlysofterrockbutstillaprettyhardplace

EADJ Was Brought To You Today By MyPillow®

Feeling tired? Like you haven't had enough sleep because of a flat uncomfortable pillow? Introducing the MyPillow®, a revolutionary new pillow that uses a patented medical fill that stays cool, conforms to your exact individual needs and also happens to have been put behind the balls of Mike Lindell, the company's inventor, manufacturer and president.

Thousands of people every night sleep with their arm under their head, flip-flop from side to side, and constantly have to flip their regular pillow throughout the night, causing hours of unhealthy, interrupted sleep. But thanks to the adapting contour of the MyPillow®, your neck, vertebrae, and head are all comfortably supported. Also supported by these pillows are Mike Lindell's two balls, which we guarantee have rested on each and every pillow for a minimum of 40 seconds.

A lot of people may ask, why the MyPillow®? What's the difference? Why can't I just buy another brand support pillow? Well, these other pillows may certainly look and feel similar, but only the MyPillow® has the Lindell Ballsack Guarantee™ which presents you with a notarized certificate that your pillow has been personally placed under Mike Lindell's ballbag for a full 40 seconds. In fact, if you are not absolutely thrilled with the good night's rest you receive from your new MyPillow® or have any doubts that your pillow has been firmly tucked behind the scrotum of Mike Lindell, just send the pillow back within 60 days and we'll refund your money in full!

But don't just take our word for it, hear what these satisfied customers have to say:

So order your MyPillow® today and reap all the benefits of having a soft but firm set of balls sit on a pillow where you will rest your head for at least 7 hours a night. Smell the difference tonight!

UAG

Lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy.

Why You Can Trust The Bible

• The Bible won't confuse you with delicious beats and rapid-fire rhymes that you can't keep up with because you're square and white.

• The Bible won't try to leverage your friendship by passive aggressively reminding you to buy Girl Scout Cookies from their daughters.

• The Bible will tell you if those fancy frames you just bought at Lenscrafters make your head look gay.

• The Bible will kiss your wife hello but not in a creepy, lingering way.

• The Bible won't let some random friend of theirs appear at your apartment and say they were told it was okay to crash on your couch for a month.

• The Bible will return your car with the steering wheel and the seat at their original settings.

• If you're a vegan, the Bible will inform you if the cheese in the tostadas are made from soy or not.

• The Bible will stop you from wearing those sweatpants with the word "Juicy" on the ass to a job interview.

• If you tell the Bible to sit there and wait while you grab some Panda Express at the food court, they won't run off and visit Spencer's Gifts without telling you and make you waste a half hour looking for it.

• The Bible will discourage you from watching "The Happening" by M. Night Shyamalan.

• Ex-girlfriends of the Bible say it's cool if you hook up with them, and it's actually cool.

• The Bible won't call in sick and leave you to work a double shift at Radio Shack like a motherfucker.

• The Bible isn't badly photoshopped on the cover so that you can't read the title:

A Program Note

Since starting this stupid blog in 2006, through multiple job changes, a wedding, the birth of a child, and the cancellation of "Heroes," I have seen fit to consistently post every single weekday -even through holidays- without fail. That is, until yesterday, when Blogger dropped the ball and kept me from posting something for Thursday and Friday.


But it's back live. So as you were.