Spotted on Facebook

This ad for a keychain or ornament or something:

What looks like an unremarkable AI recreation of the Spider-Man/Mary Jane kiss from the 2002 movie at first becomes way more inappropriate if you look closer:

All I can say is, Ew.

 

Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Renew A Sri Lankan Passport

A Sri Lankan citizen can apply for a passport renewal, while he is in another country, through the Sri Lankan Mission in that country or in the nearest country.These applications are processed by the Overseas Missions Branch at the Head Office of Department of Immigration and Emigration Immigration. Take these steps to renew your Sri Lankan passport:

1) Fill out your application form (Form ‘K’- 35 A) with other supporting documents and submit to a Sri Lanka Embassy.

2) Passport Application Form (Form ‘K’- 35 A) has now been revised to include a Client Undertaking Section (CUS). This section has to be signed by the applicant and hand over to consular officer. No application will be accepted without applicant’s signature in CUS.

3) Every applicant will be issued a special Instruction Note at the point of handing over the passport application which explains procedures to be followed.

And speaking of procedures, when I'm driving a fare in my limo, it's important that you follow the correct procedures for operating the divider window. Too many times I've had that thing stuck because two different people were trying to control it at once. Be safe kids!

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

"Can't you see? I love you and want to marry you... Jen. Or is it Julie?"

"I TOLD YOU I was telling the truth? See the evidence? That PROVES it!"

"I claim all of Park Slope, Williamsburg and Greenpoint. You can have Bushwick. Eww."

"How was it?" "Not great."

"Doug, I see why you moved up here. No yard work!"

"Jingle THIS."

"Honey, we should really invest in a Nest doorbell."

(translated from sea beast) "Have you tried this? It's delicious!"

Things To Watch Out For When Buying a Justice League-Branded Pen

Zack Snyder's mediocre Justice League movie has come and gone, but its merchandising slug trail remains. But if you're keen on purchasing a Justice League 888 Infinite Collection pen from the Swiss  company Caran d’Ache, you're in luck. But here are some pros and cons of buying one of these expensive writing tools ($9.99/each):

Hero Pen: The Flash

Pros: Pop the button, and the nib instantly appears!

Cons: Runs out of ink fast

Hero Pen: Superman

Pros: Almost indestructible

Cons: Quits after three movies

Hero Pen: Wonder Woman

Pros: Survives for decades

Cons: Doesn't have pockets to store

Hero Pen: Aquaman

Pros: Waterproof

Cons: Pointless

Hero Pen: Batman

Pros: Writes nice and dark

Cons: Cannot physically draw a smiley face

Hero Pen: Cyborg

Pros: Lots of working mechanical parts

Cons: Cries like a mangled teenager

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Fold A Throw Blanket

Fold the throw in half vertically for the flip and flop method. Then flip in half over your forearm and flop it over the back of a sofa or chair. For the flip and toss method, fold the blanket in half vertically. Take hold of the middle and toss in place.

And speaking of holding the middle, if you're ever feeling nauseous while riding in the back of my limousine, asking me to pull over so you can puke will automatically get you 20% off your total bill. I don't have that in writing, but that's a promise. Stay safe, kids.

Spotted in Irvington, NJ

As I was running one morning, I spotted what I thought was a rat in an alley in Irvington.


Luckily, it was actually just someone's weave. Whew!

Do You Bereave In Love?

(pictured above, an expensive alternative to flushing a dead gerbil down the toilet)