Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Hulu periodically renews or cancels shows or movies based on a viewer preference algorithm. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:

• BASED

• Drag Queen Top Chefs

• The Masked Electrician

• Dine & Dash! The Mobile Talk Show

• Billy On The Street Struggles With Crippling Depression

• Make These Dishes Disappear

• Doll Collectors: The Most Terrifying People On Earth

• CSI Accounts Receivable

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu will be removing from their lineup this month:

• Behind The Scenes of that 1-877-Kars4Kids Commercial

• Unskilled Christian Puppeteers

• Dubious JFK Conspiracies That Needed Air Time

• The Married Bachelor

• POWERPOINT!

• Star Wars: The Book of Bubba Sparxx

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

More unsolicited mixtape cover commentary:

This looks like a very expensive limited edition vinyl figurine that you never take out of the box.

This looks like an art project at a halfway house.

Somehow they managed to make Bratz Dolls even sluttier.

This looks like either an unreasonable deadline or minimum effort.

At 50, you'd think I'd be too old to make a Lady Dimitrescu reference. And you'd be right.

That mural at the Canadian Western bar is coming along.

This looks like a very expensive limited edition Playskool Playmobil set that you never take out of the box.

   

I've programmed my audio player to skip a track made by anyone named "Lil".

"My cousin's pretty good at Photoshop, Nicki. It'll look great."

I can't tell if this is a thoughtful study of greed and mortality or just an airbrushed mural on the side of a carnival ride.

I love this. Probably because I lived in Chicago during their Jordan/Pippen/Rodman dynastic period.

The ProofrEADJer: July Edition

And this pretty one I found by the side of the road, which I promptly stole and recycled. Go green!

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Add Music In Instagram Stories

1) Swipe to the new "Music" caption under the record mode when you're in the Instagram Stories camera.

2) Search for a song and choose the exact part you want for your photo or video

3) Capture your story while the song is playing in the background

And speaking of background, as a limo driver, I try to not listen in on conversations happening in the back. But if you're in a shouting match about forcing your girlfriend to have the abortion, I'm going to have to pull over and beat your ass. 

Stay safe, kids!

Preview of Next Week's Info Wars Conspiracies

Alex Jones is like Charlie Brown, except rounder, more racist and less popular. His talented team of writers are currently cooking up new bullshit conspiracies for Alex to feed to his awaiting dumb listeners. Here is a taste of what they have in store for next week:

• Skim milk is just whole milk with one liter of contact lens saline solution mixed in.

• San Francisco's famous Lombard Street is windy on purpose to ruin people's tires and have them hopefully run over some hobos at the bottom. This is how San Francisco deals with its homeless.

• If you let a baby's crib mobile turn counter clockwise instead of clockwise, it will grow up to be a progressive socialist commie.

• Chicks with A-cup bras are either lesbians or men in drag. Also, they're not attracted to Alex Jones.

• All of North Korea's nuclear launch codes are the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's 1985 song "Part Time Lover" scrambled slightly.

• Malignant mesothelioma is not caused by asbestos exposure. Rather, it is the result of NOT COLLECTING ENOUGH BEANIE BABIES IN THE NINETIES

• You crazy, man.

• Most chestnuts are raised by a small Satanist collective in Maine. They are blessed and distributed by atheists and witches to poison the stomachs and minds of white Christian children.

Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain The Popularity of LEGO Videogames

"Ahh. good question... erg... Ah... LEGO are a favorite at my house... Ahh... shit... the videogames combine the joy of building with LEGO with... UGGGH!... the ability of videogames to explore new worlds... GAH... can't breathe... FUCK... The writing is also very humorous... ah... ahh... uh... and... um, people enjoy seeing familiar movies... Ah.... ah... or shows... reenacted in L... LE...LE..." *dies*

25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 19: "Sharing Christmas" Starring Ellen Hollman and Bobby Campo

Great shit. I'm sorry, but this one was fucking awful. AWFUL, I tell you. Poorly conceived. Poorly acted. Zero chemistry. Nothing about this is enjoyable, realistic, or even romantic. I think a video of graphic eye surgery would put me more in a Christmas mood than this tinseled turd. The lead actress shrugs and giggles her way through this disaster as if her shop wasn't about to be FUCKING EVICTED, and the guy honestly looks like he doesn't give a shit about her (in the story) or about the movie (in real life).

Plot summary: "A real estate developer is given the opportunity to transform an old shopping complex into a prime location. Unfortunately, there is one tenant who is holding out -- the Christmas shop owner he met by happenstance just days ago."

So this is essentially a love story between Jared Kushner and whoever he evicted to build condos. And this isn't even one of those scenarios where she finds out at the climactic scene. This woman KNOWS he works for the developer and goes ahead and lets him hang around, trying to get into her panties. Fucking show some sack, lady. Sack of presents.

Romance Factor: 4 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 1 out of 10

Overall Rating: 2.5 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 1:21:57

Toddler Chairs Were Depressed.

Toddler Chairs were depressed.

Window Fan was shocked.

Building Façade shed a tear.

Nightstand was scandalized.

Bathroom Railing Brackets exchanged a look.

Toy Lawnmower got drunk as hell.

Leather Chair stayed away from all the drama.

Child Bike Seat just stayed outside and enjoyed the nice weather.