This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

As a Mario fan, I find this offensive.

As a historian and fan of dolphin jewelry, I find this offensive.

No change. Perfect.

One of the first things kids like to build in Minecraft is a no-name rapper.

Somebody's still bitter about that hug-with-a-pat from Chelsea.

I knew rappers talked with their hands, but this is ridiculous!

This brand of bud is called "Google Street View." Not sure why.

If a spaceship crashes anywhere near L.A., everyone would assume it's a shoot and ignore it.

The best way to cover up a shitty Photoshop job is to TRACE IT IN ILLUSTRATOR.

"Are you sure UPS is going to deliver it to the right address this time?"

"Leave it to me."

Neat. But where are the paintbrushes? And who paints from a La-Z-Boy chair?

One terrific pun is pretty wonderful. But two is a blessing.

Giant Hooker found the least conspicuous place to fart: Manhattan.

Much to Lil Tracy's disappointment, there was little to no moshing at the zombie prison camp.

Stand in the wrong place, and you change the name of your mixtape to FARTS 2.

Dick Time is Always The Right Time

After a job interview yesterday, Joel walked around downtown L.A.

Most every dick grocery around was still closed, as it was only 8:30 in the morning. Joel did manage to come across a hot dog vendor in front of a convenience store.

Always quick-witted when hungry for dick, Joel ran into the convenience store, bought a 13-inch veal sausage and meatballs, and took it to the hot dog vendor to slather it in mayonnaise. Instant dick!

Joel will be releasing a "how to" book of dick cooking emergencies later next spring.

(pictured above, Jessica travels to France to release a pop album under a nom de plume. Singing in French, however, doesn't deter her from talking about poop as usual.)