We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs The Difference Between Antipasto and Charcuterie

"Good question! It's simple, really. Antipasto platters... uh... coff coff coff... include a variety... ouch... a varie... variety of flavors... No, not now... and textures, while... *gag*... charcuterie boards... (pant pant) charcuterie boards... focus primarily... oh god... on cured meats. Does that answer your questi...." *neck breaks*

An Incomplete List of Things Objectively Cuter Than Ariana Grande

In addition to ruling the pop charts for over a decade, Ariana Grande will have you believe she is the cutest thing EVAR. We respectfully disagree with Ms. Grande and instead offer these things that are easily cuter than her:

• Japanese mascots for tissue paper

• Single Chiclets

• Children wearing little cowboy duster coats

• Miniature corn impaled on regular-sized corn cob holders

• A catfish wearing a bonnet

• Travel sized nose hair trimmers

• The Funko Pop figure of Ariana Grande

UAG

Limit: 1

Spotted in NYC, a coffee cart offers nothing in multiples.

Let's Celebrate The EADJ Mail Sack's Birthday On A Day That's Convenient For Us!

Submitted by Tom Weingard: "Nice description, Getty."

Click to enlarge and read

 

 

Too lazy to click and enlarge? Fuck it. Here it is bigger.

Still can't read that? Fuck you:

Title: Senior Couple Having Fun Sniffing Flowers

Description: A beautiful senior damsel is making believe her handsome senior prince is offering a fabulous rose. She sniffs the tiny sprout as if in a dream. But alas, this senior prince appears resigned to participating in yet another Kodak moment he'd never have believed possible. Grandma is holding the walking stick she's been using while walking together with Grandpa on a trail at the nature park. Desaturated image.