Random Shit That Looks Like Ninja Turtles, Part IV

Unintentional Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze

Go ninja! Go ninja go!

New Stupid Segment: Unintentional Ninja Turtles

Cowabunga, dude!

Let's Try To Buff All The Scratches Out Of The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Andrew, a sign for a car museum that for some reason features a Ninja Turtle getting struck by a Chevy from the 50's, much to the delight of Speed McQueen.

And why this display was roped off, I'll never know.

Two Unrelated Items

Spotted in the doorway of a Jersey Blimpie shop, JP rocks for Jesus. In the street. With a mean attitude.


Unless "JP" is the one name he rocks with, then "...Jesus" is him realizing how weird that is.

Item two, Gambino fights off imaginary ninjas.

In Other Stupid News...

A little after the 10-minute mark into their broadcast, Channel 2 News turns totally retarded. As if somehow all the international goings on in Georgia, Pakistan, Zimbabwe, and even Denver are set aside for stories about bears wandering into barber shops or armadillos driving tractors. Like the guy in their news room is going, "Yeah, yeah, yeah Darfur whatever. Where's my segment about that four-eared Yoda cat?!"


One story that does bear mentioning involves these two teens in Jersey who decided to go vigilante on some drug dealers and dressed up as ninjas to drive them out of their neighborhood. Video clip:


This story is awesome on 4 counts:

1) Vigilante justice
2) Stupid teenagers
3) DRESSING UP AS MOTHERFUCKING NINJAS
4) Jersey
5) Drug dealers who probably have guns in response to whatever shiruken or nunchuku those two boys might have brought to the party.
6) "Looking as ninja as possible."
7) The title "Ninja Enthusiast"

I know I said only 4, but fuck that. That shit is HOT. I officially do that thing where I punch my chest twice, kiss two fingertips, then make the peace sign for Tadeusz Pertkiewicz and Jesse Tronjaniak. Respeck.

Full story here.

Wrong.

Some agency stationery gets proven wrong. Take that, Post It pad!

Reaffirming Our Mission Statement

There have been rumblings in the EADJ Mail Sack about this blog's alleged recent lack of focus. One writer says, "Who gives a shit about some dude that looks like someone else who works here?" Another emailer grouses, "What is your problem? Why don't you leave those poor (planners) alone?"

Well, Brad and Ranee, EADJ admits that we've diversified our coverage. We've found other things to harp on and point out and drive into the fucking ground because it would probably make Lee Gonzales mad (which then renders it funny). But first and foremost, Eat a Dick Joel prides itself as the ONLY BLOG devoted to covering the dick-eating hijinx, shenanigans and madcap dick-consuming misadventures that Joel gets himself into. We think we've covered Joel's dick eating career pretty extensively so far- the 3 Hearst Journalism Awards on the mantel agree. So it's no big deal if we choose to add new features like "In the Nude with Joe Nudelman" or the Suzemily Players or "What Makes Louis Slotkin Flinch?" Not only does it add diversity to our extensive coverage, it brings in a new audience, like Furries or sufferers of lupus.

So we think we've been doing a pretty darn tootin' good job so far. You haters can hate, and you Joel- yes- you, Joel can eat a dick. So say we all.

(pictured above, The Glitter Band from 1978 Sweden seem to think so, too.)