Spotted On A Morning Walk

Friggin' terrifying.

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched 2021

"GOOD MORNING. YOU WERE GREAT."

"Fuck you. Wheee!"

"I can't believe I'm starring in a movie with a decrepit, dried up husk of a corpse. And Lou Ferrigno."

"Is this your card?"

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S MY PANCREAS! AAAHHHHHH!"

(kills guy)

"I guess he wasn't in charge. Get it?"

"You know, I feel so dirty when they start talkin' cute. I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot."

"This is taking forever, Fame!"

"What are you talking about, Frezell? This shit is fast!"

"Jesus, I knew the falcon could sing. I just didn't realize the lyrics would be explicit Miami booty lyrics."

"Remind me not to take the word of a killer." (shoots goat, valet and propane tank)

UAG

In Case You Ever Wondered What I Do In My Spare Time

No Comment.

An IM convo with Andrew:

Reaffirming Our Mission Statement

There have been rumblings in the EADJ Mail Sack about this blog's alleged recent lack of focus. One writer says, "Who gives a shit about some dude that looks like someone else who works here?" Another emailer grouses, "What is your problem? Why don't you leave those poor (planners) alone?"

Well, Brad and Ranee, EADJ admits that we've diversified our coverage. We've found other things to harp on and point out and drive into the fucking ground because it would probably make Lee Gonzales mad (which then renders it funny). But first and foremost, Eat a Dick Joel prides itself as the ONLY BLOG devoted to covering the dick-eating hijinx, shenanigans and madcap dick-consuming misadventures that Joel gets himself into. We think we've covered Joel's dick eating career pretty extensively so far- the 3 Hearst Journalism Awards on the mantel agree. So it's no big deal if we choose to add new features like "In the Nude with Joe Nudelman" or the Suzemily Players or "What Makes Louis Slotkin Flinch?" Not only does it add diversity to our extensive coverage, it brings in a new audience, like Furries or sufferers of lupus.

So we think we've been doing a pretty darn tootin' good job so far. You haters can hate, and you Joel- yes- you, Joel can eat a dick. So say we all.

(pictured above, The Glitter Band from 1978 Sweden seem to think so, too.)