Lobsterfest® Fists Your Lobster!

Lobsterfest® enters its 40th spectacular week, and we at Red Lobster are still finding exciting and succulent ways for you to enjoy lobster! Here are just a few of the latest new ways you can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster:

• We mail you a Lobsterfest® postcard, which you bring into Red Lobster for a special Lobsterfest® scratch-off game piece. The game piece has four codes which you scratch off one-at-a-time, then compare with the codes posted on our in-store display. If two of your codes match those on the display in both number and color, you are automatically entered in our online raffle for two tickets to the next Red Lobster contest! That's another great way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

• We go to Chinatown and find any guy there named "Doug Chen." We convince Doug that you're somehow related to him and arrange for a big family reunion dinner at Red Lobster. When he arrives, you and your family pretend to know and love him, creating this long-time familial bond that Doug Chen never had growing up. Then when the check comes around for the expensive lobster, everyone ducks out, leaving poor ol' Doug Chen with the bill! Yet another fantastic way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

• Against our better judgment, we roll a gigantic fucking doob in the shape of a lobster and give it to some college sophomores. The students smoke the weed and talk about the universe always expanding and all, then they fall asleep before the pizza even gets here. That's one great way you can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

• We hire Jake Busey as a "lobster-consultant." Jake's enormous teeth act as both a deflector for lobster critics and an effective crushing device to crack open tough lobster shells for guests. We award our new lobster consultant with the Medal Of Valor, an honor that only military or public safety personnel who have served with gallantry usually get. Sure, that could act as another way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster. I guess.

Stay tuned for even more incredible lobster deals during Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With How To Draw A Rose

The drawing of roses and flowers comes down to good observations and a solid confidence in drawing, but there are simpler ways to draw roses, as they aren't that complicated to get right.

First, create a rough outline of your intended rose drawing, starting off with a simple line for the stem and a couple of tiny branches and just a rough circle shape for the flower petals later on.


Then, form petals and leaves on the outline. This is the important step of sketching in the petal formation, as you want it to look right, I suggest an unsymmetrical approach, as this makes the petals look real.


Next comes rose shading and detailing. The darkening of the pencil lines now makes the rose drawing more defined and we can start adding the shading to the flower.


Finally, we finish off the shading. Here we have the final rose drawing, all shaded and with the pencil lines cleaned up slightly, When I've finished a simple drawing like this I like to leave well alone, before I add too much detail and other things that detract from the subject at hand.

Just remember that with anything you draw, it is far easier to break down the steps into easier to manage bite-sized steps.


And speaking of bite-sized, I once drove a party of fourteen midgets to the airport. Fourteen! They tried to stiff me, saying I was driving them by weight, but I charged them per head. As I should.

Spotted In Penn Station

Pictured above, a pun becomes literal.

A Reunion

Pictured below, Andrew and Vince, together again. Sort of.

Spotted At A Stoop Sale In Brooklyn

They call them "stoop sales" since nobody in NYC has a yard, by the way.


So the sign is saying the mattress doesn't have bedbugs, or is it addressed TO bedbugs to stay away?


This brings up an interesting point: who the hell buys a used mattress, bedbugs or not?

An IM Convo

Andrew's Turn To React To The Bowling Balls In Our Backyard

Here is the previous one with Vince.