UAG

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Swaddle A Baby

1) Fold the swaddle into a diamond shape, and place baby on back in the center with shoulders just below the fold.

2) Place baby's right arm alongside the body, slightly bent. Take the same side of the swaddle and pull it securely across baby’s arm and chest, tucking the fabric under the baby. Leave the left arm free.

3) Fold the bottom of the swaddle up and over baby's feet. Tuck the point of the fabric into the top of the swaddle.

4) Place baby's left arm alongside the body, slightly bent. Take the remaining swaddle, and wrap it over baby’s arm and chest, tucking the fabric under baby to secure the swaddle.

And speaking of wraps, there's this really terrific Mediterranean wrap place near my company's garage. And if you mention my name, the owner Jon will hook you up with free chips. No joke!

Be safe kids!

EADJ Fashion Roundup: Vanity Plate Edition

Today we match up some fashionistas with helpful suggestions of what personalized plate they could put on their car, assuming they own a car and need to make them street legal, because you're not allowed to drive a car on public streets without a license.

To the woman whose footwear threatens to fly away at any moment:

To the gentleman dressed in a mattress liner for a vest:

To the oblivious commuter whose backpack makes it look like he's wearing a speedo:

To the power couple who stand at a bus stop like a G-Star Raw Denim billboard:

To the three zebra people on the NJ Transit platform:

To the man who (I know it's hard to tell in the blurry photo) opened his shirt buttons down to the navel and then tied it off in a Daisy Duke cinch:

To the anachronistic dandy on 43rd Street:

To the jogger who was wearing what looked like an actual tutu (and also a "DIPLOMAT" T-shirt):

To the studded hipster:

To the woman wearing wolf ears and a neck brace at a water park:

To the Asian Orville Redenbacher on 46th Street:

To the black bra/mesh top/rolled up jeans combo wearer in Midtown NYC, a pair of options:

Let's Give The EADJ Mail Sack A Monogrammed Sweater That They Can't Return!

Submitted by Tom Weingard via IM:

It means that Tom came pretty darn close to showing his wenis on the Internet.

Here now is maybe the only opportunity I'll ever have to post Toto's video for Africa on this blog in an acceptable context:

Every Good Boy Does Racist Appliances

Racist Appliances, HO!

Brazilian Wax On and Off Again

(per an anonymous EADJ reader's request, a reshoot of the previous Mongo Brazilian Wax photo)