"It Has Become Appallingly Obvious That Our Technology Has Exceeded Our Pathmark."

More Available But Godawful Porn Names

If you want to become a porn star, you'll need two things: working sexual organs and a porn alias. We can't help you with the first thing, but here are some unclaimed (but terrible) porn names that you can use. Go "nuts":

Him

Z. Roe Fuchs

Bubblicious Cum

Murder He Scrote

Rob I. Tussin

Jackoff Lantern

Chip Offtheoldcock

Her

Syphilis Diller

Tami Flu

Shemale Attachment

Kaycee Masterpiece

Fentanyl

Malala Youfuckmai

Hose Spool Was Sad.

Hose Spool Was Sad.

White Van didn't know how to handle it.

American Cheese Display quacked like a duck.

Cordless Phone stayed on mute.

Side of Building wondered who could help.

Fluorescent Light didn't see the big deal.

Bathroom Stall Bracket stared in silence.

Boba Fett scanned for lifeforms.

House 1 was in disbelief.

House 2 didn't understand what was going on.

Baby Changing Station 1 kept out of it.

Baby Changing Station 2 just smirked.

Two Plaques and Water Fountain yapped to everybody about it.

Let's Give The EADJ Mail Sack A Monogrammed Sweater That They Can't Return!

Submitted by Tom Weingard via IM:

It means that Tom came pretty darn close to showing his wenis on the Internet.

Here now is maybe the only opportunity I'll ever have to post Toto's video for Africa on this blog in an acceptable context: