UAG

I'm Stupid Sometimes.

For a brief second, I wondered what type of PC this was.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Redeem General Mills Box Tops For Education

It all started in California in 1996.  General Mills wanted to create a program to help support education and benefit America’s schools – and so, Box Tops for Education™ was born. As part of the initial test program, Box Tops were only available on select Big G cereals, such as Cheerios™, Total™ and Lucky Charms™. Today, America’s schools have earned over $868 million, and you can find Box Tops on hundreds of products throughout the grocery store and online.

1) To receive payment for any Box Tops, or Bonus Box Tops, schools must be enrolled and determined to be active in the Box Tops for Education program.

2) Your school’s Box Tops Coordinator will collect all the Box Tops and send them in so your school can get cash.

3) Checks are mailed to schools twice a year in December and April.

And speaking of checks, I've actually had clients who told the restaurant where they had dined to put their check "on the limo's tab".  That's not how any of this works, folks. Pay your waiter!

Be safe, kids!

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: Spring Collection

Some families color-coordinatedly roll out of bed.

The guy's hairstyle is divided like a pie chart.

Camouflage hides the shame of Burger King.

God, grant me the patience not to reach over and adjust that man's collar for him, because it's driving me crazy.

Imagine working your entire life to come to America, only to be greeted by a bunch of citizens who dress like they don't give a shit.

My friend Michelle thought this guy's outfit made him look like Santa out of the corner of her eye. I agree.

More Fake Taglines For a Crappy Movie That Would Rather Be Lost To Obscurity

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Ten Inch Hero

What makes a sandwich authentic? Back in 2009, we explored (with help from Tom Weingard) what made for a suitable and an unsuitable Philly cheesesteak. Now when it comes to movies, there's a similar way to tell why identical ingredients can form an unsatisfying rip-off. This method is known as the EADJ Crappinema.


Today we review the movie "Ten Inch Hero" a story of three girls- Piper, Tish and Jen, and their trials and tribulations with love as they run a restaurant in a small town. If this sounds familiar, it's because it's exactly the plot summary to 1998's "Mystic Pizza." And writing-wise and acting-wise, "Ten Inch Hero" is pretty close in quality to "Mystic Pizza," only it's a sandwich served up 22 years too late.
















The following conversation is lifted verbatim from the film:



Piper: So, before you leave, can I make you a sandwich? The roast turkey is really good.





Zoe: Thank you, but I don't eat anything that had a mother.






Piper: Oh. Okay…Um, egg salad, then?




Zoe: Well, eggs are really chicken abortions. I mean, I support a woman's right to choose, but I don't believe anyone asked the chickens beforehand.

Priestly: Right on.



Jen: Well, actually, since farmers don't keep roosters, the eggs aren't fertilized, so technically you're just eating the by-product of the hen's menstrual cycle.




Priestly: Well, that's certainly appetizing– a "hen period salad." That's lovely.






































The following line is verbatim from the film:

Piper: (after seeing Jen's date fuzzzy_22) That settles it. I have GOT to get my DSL hooked up.



























From Wikipedia:

Ten Inch Hero did not get a cinematic release in the US and was instead released direct to video. It was released February 10, 2009 in the United States exclusively by Blockbuster Video, and released May 6, 2009 on DVD in Australia.






Overall grade: F