Another Episode of "Where Are They Now?"

Most people remember Balloon Weights as the only woman of Sri Lankan descent to ever appear in an Elvis Presley movie. Unfortunately, Mrs. Weights passed away at the age of 94 last year. She spent her retired years gardening and stripping for charity.

After getting the funding from "Shark Tank" to start her recyclable detergent company started, Tusken Ballista found love on the talk show circuit and is currently happily married to Jimmy Fallon.

No longer a fixture on NPR's "Marketplace", Cotton Bunting is now serving 3 years in federal prison for witness tampering in the sexual assault case of his former wrestling coach.

Bouncy Bouncy Sexy Time.

The following is an account of an actual encounter between Joel and a Los Angeles policeman:

COP: License and registration.

JOEL: What?

COP: License and registration, please.

JOEL: Have I done something?

COP: Do you know why I've stopped you sir?

JOEL: You didn't. I was parked here.

COP: (pause) Oh.

(awkward pause)

COP: Do you know why I'm talking to you?

JOEL: No, why?

COP: Because you're parked in a loading zone.

(writes ticket, hands to Joel)

JOEL: Is parking the jurisdiction of Highway Patrol?

COP: Hmm. Probably.

JOEL: Why did you check the box that said "Speeding in a school zone?"

COP: It's the only one that said "zone."

JOEL: It's 6 points on my license and $500.

COP: Hey, is that a Meximelt you're eating?

JOEL: Why do you have your penis out?

(pictured above, the latest nonexercise-nonclass taught at Crunch)