UAG

How To Write a LinkedIn Endorsement For Someone You Don't Really Like

LinkedIn. You do it. We all do it. But what happens when a co-worker you're not to crazy about asks you to write an endorsement for them? Here's a handy guide to get them off your back without suspecting that you secretly hate them:

1) Just describe the job they did rather than how well or poorly they did them.

"Dan is definitely one of the senior management specialists I've worked with. He managed two teams and was in charge of the Fall 2013 marketing plan. Yep."

2) If you have to compliment something about that person, compliment where you both worked.

"Karla and I were lucky to work at an office that had the GREATEST break room countertops!"

3) Be vague enough in your endorsement to sound like an endorsement without actually having endorsed them at all. 

"Samantha's working style is like nothing I've seen. She is truly unique in her leadership approach, and the results speak for themselves."

4) Or simply change the subject in an endorsement.

"Is Jim qualified to lead a team of 20 people for an urgent project? I believe that the Arctic region may have its first completely ice-free summer by 2040 if greenhouse gasses continue to get pumped into the atmosphere at the current rate."

Here Are All The Terrible Things That Will Happen If You Fail To Collect All Four Slurpee Mustache Straws at 7-Eleven

• the sky will rain bile

• goats will start tweeting their bleats

• Katherine Heigl will get her own talk show

 • Ticketmaster will start requiring you to lick a dog's asshole for every ticket purchase you make

• Guns 'N Roses will threaten to release another album

• Couches will become less comfy

• Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen will learn to act

• banjos will become a romantic instrument

• certain brands of dildo will start vibrating like they mean it

• Ke$ha will be converted to Ke£ha

• [insert lame New England Patriots cheating joke here]

• neo-nazi groups will introduce the fancier "swash-tika"

• The world's supply of chives will vanish, leaving you with just sour cream flavored potato chips

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Vipers, starring Tara Reid

As ordered by the Court in April 2008, the County of Los Angeles mandated that Tara Reid star in the movie "Vipers" to fulfill her 120 hours of community service. Once the film had been completed, Tara was to deliver the film to her probation officer and serve the rest of her sentence at its premiere and DVD release party.

Overall grade: F