More InfoWars Conspiracy Stories To Look Out For

Despite having the pants sued off of him for promoting previous conspiracy theories, Alex Jones continues to spread new dubious stories that his audience just EATS UP like Skoal flavored jerky. Here are the latest that he's planning to release into the air:

• Every democrat in Congress is actually an android piloted by hamsters. Extremely LIBERAL hamsters.

• No one ever purchased anything from a Sharper Image store when they were around because none of the merchandise was ever really for sale. The stores were actually mini CIA branch offices. 

• The new plastic trays in packages of OREOS are actually shaped differently to make room for surveillance listening equipment underneath.

• Those machines in women's bathrooms that give out free tampons? Communism.

• Due to inflation, you now have to say "Blood Mary" in the mirror 4 times instead of 3 for her to show up. Damn Biden administration!

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-April Edition

And for shame, CNN:

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

BEWARE! A TRUE BEAST ISN'T AFRAID TO WEAR A PHILLY FLYERS HAT IN NYC

If it burns when you pee, visit your local clinic.

Toby hated it when his older brother Randall babysat.

No idea. Leave it as is. It's perfect.

Chief Keef and Gucci Mane continue to slay standards of what good hip hop is.

"Shit, I thought my keys were in my jeans, but maybe they're in the ashtray at home? In my desk drawer at work? Shit!"

Some people are too busy with their fabulous playa lives to put their phone down for a quick photo shoot. Jeez, even Oprah takes a break for a few snapshots, Le$.

Don't Tell Me It's Time For Another Racist Appliances. It Is? Shit.

You Might Not Want To Read This Entry Today. Or Ever.

EADJ WARNING: The following entry can be considered NSFW. And even if it were considered SFW, you might not want to read it if you just ate or were thinking about eating. Or even if you hadn't eaten yet and you weren't planning on eating soon, you STILL might not want to read this entry, because its subject matter might be a little much for your sensibilities. And for those of you who are thinking, "Man, this is an awful lot of build-up for an entry that probably isn't even all that shocking or gross or off-color," let this caveat be your last warning. Serious. This isn't going to be pretty.

So the other month I had to rent a U-Haul in New Jersey. The U-Haul place was out in the middle of nowhere, and I had just driven a good hour and a half to reach that town (Heightstown). A very nice middle-aged lady was working the counter and was the only one there.


Before she started to draft up all the paperwork for my U-Haul rental, I asked her if I could use their bathroom. She pleasantly said yes and indicated a door behind the counter. I walked in and THIS is what I saw (click to enlarge):


Yay! Somebody forgot to flush.