I spotted this sign in Manhattan last week, advertising the rental out an unknown breed of dog named Rhett (is that an Airedale?). For a buck a minute, Rhett's pimps are willing to let you take Rhett (could be a Scottish Deerhound?) out and do whatever, provided it's for your therapy. He's "always looking for new friends," so what are you waiting for? Here now is a list of suggested activities you can do with Rhett (he's an Irish Wolfhound, isn't he?) and how much it will cost:
• Take Rhett from 25th Street to Central Park for a nice walk and a poop: $82
• Watch the entire "Lord Of The Rings" Trilogy, extended edition with Rhett: $682
• Bowl an entire game by yourself while Rhett sniffs his balls: $14
• Have sex with release while Rhett watches from another room: $3
• Fly with Rhett to Tel Aviv, Israel from JFK and back: $1200 (not including airfare)
• Drive Rhett around while cranking Iron Maiden's third studio album, "The Number of The Beast:" $41
• Encourage Rhett to go with you to your Zumba class, even though he doesn't seem to express any interest: $60
• Hassle Rhett about his 'Certified Dog' credentials: $7
• Cook an entire
timpano, complete with meatballs, salami and filling and with homemade crust, while Rhett nervously licks his hungry dog lips: $80
• Take Rhett to watch the Houston Astros totally suck dick for a full nine innings: $180
• Give away the twist to "Looper" to Rhett: $1
• Read "The Brothers Karamazov" to Rhett in a pidgin accent while he licks his balls again: $86,400
• Read this blog entry to him and see if he "gets" it: $4
You can literally rent Rhett
here.
