What The Woman On the Insta-Screen Bug Screen Box Is Thinking

• One sip of this poisoned tea, motherfucker, and I will be free of you forever.

• Yeah, yeah. Juliette Binoche. I get that a lot.

• My mouth is smiling, but my eyes are shooting daggers through this cheap, Chinese-made bug screen.

• Scientology has made my life bearable, especially since achieving OT VII.

• Sure, drop your kid off for a playdate with my kids. It's not like I'm a babysitter or anything.

• SUN DRIED TOMATOES ON EVERYTHING

• There are not enough blogs out that that have lasted over 10 years.

The EADJ Facebook Defriender

As I've said before, I am an easygoing person and value my friendships, but on Facebook, I am Josef Stalin and will not suffer fools gladly. Especially since Facebook friendships are about as genuine as Raweos are genuine cookies (Wow, 2-hour-old reference!).

So today we are going to defriend a high school acquaintance from North Carolina whose only crime was having an overly zealous friend, one who instantly attributed some unseasonable weather to the Rapture. Think I'm kidding? Read this shit (I replaced S____'s profile photo with a North Carolina icon and her friend's profile photo with Maude Flanders):

Is that really in Scripture?

The earth was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. So God made it sleet a little in part of the Southern United States but only for a few minutes. For this- when mankind cannot tell one season from the other-was a sign unto men that the end was nigh.

This does mark the first time someone has been defriended solely on the behavior of their other friend. So what.

Oh happy day! No longer friends!

Maddening.

What compels people to do what they do? What could be the possible explanation for some things? I found this on a sidewalk in Brooklyn:



I looked on the Internet, and there's no band website that pops up (yet). So, why did someone write "The Sewage Worms" on a nametag? Was it part of a creative writing exercise? Some sort of label for a display about actual sewage worms? Did someone change their name to "The?"


There are some things Wikipedia, Google, and the information desk at the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, North Carolina have no answer for.