The Latest New Documentaries To Watch On The Documentaries Channel

The Documentaries Channel streaming channel has announced a full roster of new releases. You can start watching any of these now if there's nothing else on:

• How Documentaries are Made

• TikTok Influencers, Sociopathy, and How To Smash Their Phones

• Let's Count the Dimples on a Golf Ball (spoiler: 336)

• The Splendor and Dignity of Carnival Geeks

• Pranking the H.O.A.

• Custer's Second to Last Stand: An Underrated Victory

• King's Hawaiian: A Dinner Roll Empire Forged in Ambition and Machiavellianism

• Dick Pics: The Unsolicited History

Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs How He's Holding Up

"Th... thanks for asking... *guh* I'm good... (gasp) can't complai..." *neck snaps*

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 

Pitbull, sick of topping the charts with pop hit after pop hit, decides to urinate on Antarctica under the world's largest Red Vines.

 

Roc Marciano. Not to be confused with legendary boxer Rocky Marciano. Rock Marciano would have had the sense to go inside during a lightning storm/18-alarm fire.

 

Future Colon?! Future Goloin? Shit. Pick a legible font, OB Product. Or is it DB Product?

 

Freeway wakes up and wonders how he got Philadelphia in his beard.

The Empire decides to call a mixtape what it really is.

Okay, Krizz Kaliko- which doesn't even sound like a real rapper's name; it sounds like an MC that would appear on "Curb Your Enthusiasm"- if you're going to name your album in slang, explaining what it means in parenths makes it 5000 times uncooler.

 

Tracy Chapman, distraught over not having a hit since "Fast Car" in 1988, contemplates ending it all.

 

Styles P is very angry at you for not only returning the garden tools you borrowed from him 3 weeks late, but returning them in such a bad condition that he can never get a full refund for them at Lowe's. He's very angry at you.

 No change needed. Stet.

 

"Hi there. I'm Wiz Khalifa. You probably remember my last session at the Sears Portrait Studio wearing some lady's real estate blazer. Well, today I'm back, and I've picked out a great outfit. This faux white leopard coat was only $14.99 from the Ann Taylor Factory Store, and these Evel Knievel pants I picked up from True Religion, which is right next to the Piercing Pagoda. Holla!"

 

Aww, Why You Wanna Racist Appliances?

Sewage Worms Update

I guess I'm late to the whole Sewage Worms party (thanks to Bill Dow for the tip), but apparently there were these gross things spotted in a sewer in North Carolina (not footage of Janice Dickinson's pap smear):



That still doesn't explain why someone had "The Sewage Worms" written on a nametag.

And yes, mentioning the Crabtree Valley Mall in North Carolina was just a spooky coincidence.

Here is an article explaining what the piss those things are.

Maddening.

What compels people to do what they do? What could be the possible explanation for some things? I found this on a sidewalk in Brooklyn:



I looked on the Internet, and there's no band website that pops up (yet). So, why did someone write "The Sewage Worms" on a nametag? Was it part of a creative writing exercise? Some sort of label for a display about actual sewage worms? Did someone change their name to "The?"


There are some things Wikipedia, Google, and the information desk at the Crabtree Valley Mall in Raleigh, North Carolina have no answer for.