This Week In Failed Kickstarter Projects

Here are the latest crowdfunded projects that failed to meet their financial goals:

• A small, handsome derby for beetles which they can tip when they meet each other in public

• Dung-based burger patties

• Alcoholic Capri-Suns shaped like tits (for adults only)

• Alcoholic Ring Pops shaped like dicks (for adults only)

• a dumb custom car horn for Jeeps that's just someone yelling "JEEP!"

• an unauthorized biography of actor Robert Duvall that's actually authorized

• inedible panties

• "Hardworking Susan" - a raised table platform for food that does NOT turn

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

I'm not scared of this guy at all. Am I supposed to be?

I reached for this, thinking it was the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack.

Dollar Store Notorious B.I.G., anyone? I know, I know. It's a "tribute."

I'm guessing hospitals are now discharging babies in diapers and ski masks. 

I like this.

"A Lars Ulrich is on line two."

A tribute Bulworth. Looks like Lana Del Rey vomiting LilYachty.

The Lion, The Witch, And the Racist Appliances

A Little Research and Update

Here's an IM conversation I had with Andrew recently:


Gee, what IS William Hung up to these days? A quick look at his official website revealed that William has been busy going back for thirds at the buffet.


Since his infamous "American Idol" audition, Hung has also recorded three albums ("Inspiration," "Hung For the Holidays," and "Miracle: Happy Summer") and has taken voice lessons. So suck on that.


Hung was also the subject of a documentary called "Hangin' With Hung," an hour and a half long film documenting Hung's sudden rise to stardom. Sources say this DVD could very well be in the EADJ Crappinema in the near future.

And Now, Ugly Andrew Gall With How To Travel During a Heat Wave

I've recently married Ugly Megan and went on an ugly honeymoon, so this advice comes fresh from my experiences:

One of the worst things that can happen during a heat wave while traveling is an automotive breakdown, so when things heat up be sure to check your car’s coolant levels, oil, tire pressure and the like. And if you have any concerns about the state of your vehicle’s durability, hunker down somewhere until cooler weather returns.

It goes without saying you’ll want to stay hydrated, so buy a styrofoam cooler and fill it with ice and cold drinks— especially healthy ones that aren’t too loaded with sugar. Cold packs can also come in handy, especially if you don’t have the luxury of air conditioning all the time. And try to drink at least eight cold glasses of water every day! Eat smaller meals and eat more often, which is easier on your system than just having three large meals a day.

Follow these easy rules, and you too can have a nice ugly time in these fine United States that we call America.

Here's To Not Separating Bullshit From Work

A big shout-out goes to Todd C for bringing up the Eat a Dick Joel blog in an internal Yellow Pages meeting.

Up next: Todd dropping EADJ's name in the Thursday client meeting in Denver. With clients there. Clients.