Upcoming Hollywood Movies Based on the Flavors at Wing Stop, PART TWO

In a stunning, unprecedented development, the big five studios are STILL claiming and developing movies based on the Wing Stop flavor menu from two days ago.

Here are the latest greenlit projects:

"KNOW THEM LOVE THEM" starring Julianne Moore, Letitia Wright and WWE wrestler Alexa Bliss

A retired teacher (Moore) moves to a small midwestern town, only to find that the women have been second class citizens since the 60s. She shows them through a spectacular PowerPoint deck how far the rest of the country has come. 

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"Atomic Cajun" (a combination of Atomic and Cajun) starring Zazie Beetz

From the director of "Bullet Train", Beetz plays an Acadian farmer who discovers nuclear waste in her end of the swamp. It transforms her into a super strong martial artist who can take revenge on the corporation that polluted her home. Also starring Zac Efron as CEO Gurney Tamblon.

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"Spicy Korean Q" starring John Cho, Lee Hung Si, and Sung Kang

A mysterious conspiracy website invites a gang of South Korean government agents to the U.S. to track down the real Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and Mothman, all government experiments gone wrong. But is the website just some kid in his basement? It's a conspiracy comedy in the vein of "Burn After Reading" and "The Men Who Stare At Goats". "Parasite" director Bong Joon-Ho has been attached.

Soundtrack by BTS, BLACKPINK, EXO, BIGBANG, and GOT7

The Consumer Electronics Show 2018: What To Expect

The Consumer Technology Association's Consumer Electronics Show, or CES, is coming soon, and it promises to showcase some astonishing and advanced technology for consumers. Here are a few scheduled exhibitors:

• Waffle House will introduce WAPP, the smartphone app that helps you shit your drunken pants at 3am.

• Verizon's Erin McPherson, Head of Content Strategy, Acquisition & Programming will hand out her business cards and will be happy to interview if you're hiring

• Boston Dynamics will release all of their robotic dogs to slaughter and maim the entire showroom audience

• NASA will be selling ironic "Space Force, My Ass" t-shirts

• Kikkoman Soy Sauce will fly special "soy sauce drones" to surgically drop soy sauce wherever someone might need some

• The inventor of the IBM ThinkPad will spend 3 hours trying to set up the projector for a retrospective presentation, with a special tribute to the TrackPoint keyboard nub/pointer

• Apple will have a speaker but will ultimately not reveal anything new. Just like they've been doing for the past 7 years.

• BB-8 will be rolling around the convention floor to annoy everyone and get the Star Wars fan base all riled up again

• A lucky guest will be invited to go backstage to see how puppeteers make all the electronics appear to work

The Guy Who Keeps Bringing Up Star Wars On Dates Strikes Back

I Blog Corrected

Earlier last month during the EADJ Crappinema review of "Unbeatable Harold," I made a snarky comment (aren't they all?) about how unrealistic and badly propped the interior of the steakhouse was. Well, I felt that way right up until I had the chance to visit a Famous Dave's BBQ joint in Mountainview, New Jersey two days ago.


That shit is an exact match, yo. So, kudos to the art department for depicting a small steakhouse in Reno like a huge national BBQ chain.

How Danny's Mind Works

Remember Danny? The fine producer who happens to be blessed with the gift of talking to BBQ sandwiches?


Well, he spotted a roll the other day in edit and remarked, "that roll looks like Pikachu."


Here is Pikachu for comparison:


Nobody could corroborate Danny's claim, although several BBQ chicken sandwiches nodded in agreement.

Meet Daniel.

Producer extraordinaire. And all around nice guy.


Danny's super power is that he can communicate with both BBQ pork sandwiches and BBQ chicken sandwiches. Some even call him "The BBQ Sandwich Whisperer."

The Pussiest Beer EVAR.

Me and Tom went to Virgil's on West 44th last week for some barbecue. I wanted to wash it down with some beer, so I aksed the waitress for a recommend.

Red flag #1: It was from Belgium. And named "Framboise."

Red flag #2: The waitress said, "That's my FAVORITE beer!"

Red flag #3: Then she said, "And I don't even DRINK beer!"

Pink flag #4: Raspberry was the first listed ingredient.

So the thing comes served with a champagne glass. The waitress shrugged and said that's how it comes. Then the thing is pink and tastes like My Pretty Pony's piss. Tom's laughing the whole time, and I chug the whole thing to at least squeeze a buzz out of it.

But the barbecue was good.

The Scourge of Backwards Devil Horns, A Photo Essay

The following are excerpts from the most recent issue of "Wassup" magazine. Or something.




Tragic.