Upcoming Hollywood Movies Based on the Flavors at Wing Stop, PART TWO

In a stunning, unprecedented development, the big five studios are STILL claiming and developing movies based on the Wing Stop flavor menu from two days ago.

Here are the latest greenlit projects:

"KNOW THEM LOVE THEM" starring Julianne Moore, Letitia Wright and WWE wrestler Alexa Bliss

A retired teacher (Moore) moves to a small midwestern town, only to find that the women have been second class citizens since the 60s. She shows them through a spectacular PowerPoint deck how far the rest of the country has come. 

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"Atomic Cajun" (a combination of Atomic and Cajun) starring Zazie Beetz

From the director of "Bullet Train", Beetz plays an Acadian farmer who discovers nuclear waste in her end of the swamp. It transforms her into a super strong martial artist who can take revenge on the corporation that polluted her home. Also starring Zac Efron as CEO Gurney Tamblon.

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"Spicy Korean Q" starring John Cho, Lee Hung Si, and Sung Kang

A mysterious conspiracy website invites a gang of South Korean government agents to the U.S. to track down the real Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and Mothman, all government experiments gone wrong. But is the website just some kid in his basement? It's a conspiracy comedy in the vein of "Burn After Reading" and "The Men Who Stare At Goats". "Parasite" director Bong Joon-Ho has been attached.

Soundtrack by BTS, BLACKPINK, EXO, BIGBANG, and GOT7

Rock Holes In My Lawn

Spotted on my street in New Jersey, a neighbor makes an interesting choice in landscaping.




My neighbor is thinking:

a) I love rocks. I think I'll display them like Easter Eggs on the grass!

b) You know, this will be a clever way to tell everyone my career as a stonemason!

c) As an avid rock collector, I think this should let the ladies know I'm down.

d) Fuck this steep hill. I'll just put rocks there so I won't ever have to mow it.

UAG

Toss that Meat, Pass that Puck!

Although hockey has never been Joel's favorite game, his name has become synonymous with the sport. The Eastern AAA Hockey League has announced that Michigan has begun a new team, The Saginaw Joeldickeaters. The Kawkawlin Community Center will be home to the Saginaw "JD'eaters," and Joel himself will be on hand during the induction ceremony on Friday to lend support and eat plenty of mulleted dick. Also at the ceremony will be Roger Ebert, Larry "Bud" Melman, that rap group that did that "Laffy Taffy" song, Nascar great Jeff Gordon, Don Chelberg, Greg St. George, Phil Hartman, Danny Glover, and the surviving members of The Ramones. They are also scheduled to reveal the official team logo at the ceremony, but we at EADJ have an exclusive sneak peek:

What this means for the Saginaw Bay area is huge: hundreds of jobs will be created just for the maintenance and operation of the arena alone. And one lucky sumbitch will get to dress up like Joel every night and eat a plethora of Midwestern pee-pee. It's a win-win situation, y'all!

(pictured above, "Hey, why don't you and I get out of this pharmacy and get a room?")