"Success is a Pathmark, Not a Destination."

Two Facebook Messages

To Eva Cunningham: No thanks. I'm pretty sure you're a pornstar/spammer. Fuck off.

To Katie Holmes: Hi. It's nice to see you're back on the market. It must have been a really emotional, difficult divorce. But glad to see you back on your feet, ready to meet new people. But no thanks. I'm married already.

The Second Best Photo I've Ever Taken

I snapped this photo on the NJ Transit train last night.
I've titled this "The 2 Kinds of Men."


Here is my previous favorite photo.

But just as a reminder, here is the GREATEST PHOTO I'VE EVER TAKEN:

The EADJ Crapcade Review of the iPhone Game "TouchBalls"

In an earlier post we had found a game on the iTunes Applications Store named "TouchBalls" and made a snarky comment about it. Well, curiosity got the better of us and we bought the two dollar game to see what the "buzz" was "all about." So here's the official Crapcade review.

Editor's Note: We were going to do a comparison review of TouchBalls with the traditional, manual counterpart, but unfortunately we ALREADY DID THAT before with April's Power Games review. We regret the lack of foresight, as this time the comparison would have actually made sense. Dammit.


TouchBalls is the brainchild of totally unknown and French-sounding game designer Bruno Genty. It was as if his French buddies had dared him to create a game based on the title alone. And in typical French joie de vivre, a certain je ne sais quoi, and even a bit of voiture de fromage, Bruno defiantly set about designing said game.



Setup: The game board looks incredibly complicated, but it's not. You've got a row of balls at the top of the screen and a little obstacle course below. And you have the choice to drop your ball on different point values, like 10. Or 10.


Gameplay: Think Connect Four meets Plinko meets not playing a fun game. You take turns with the computer dropping a ball one by one onto the game board and watch the ball land or move to another place to land. Then when all the balls have been dropped, you count the points you racked up. And the player with the highest points "wins."




"Touchballs" proved to be less fun than the iPhone calculator, the stock ticker, or even the notepad. Who knew that the title was going to be the most interesting part of the game? I'm sorry, Bruno, but your game was térrible.