This Portion of EADJ Was Brought To You By Cole Slaw

Cole slaw. The side accompanying your favorite food that you never asked for.

Cole slaw. A slightly more edible garnish than parsley.

Cole slaw. It tastes even worse than you expected.

Cole slaw. Not cabbage's finest hour.

Cole slaw. Somehow a Southern barbecue staple.

Cole slaw. It's Sweet?! Ewwww.

Featured Speakers At the Next CES

The upcoming Consumer Electronics Show has booked some notable keynote speakers. Here's who to expect in Hall C:

• TAKIN Home Pregnancy Test CEO Mandy Takins will have intercourse with audience members to test out the latest kits

• Smuckers CEO Don LaGrippe will announce and smoke the new Goober Grape Vape

• Dirt Devil President Garry Rousseau will demonstrate the new "naughty" attachments

• HD DVD promoter Jessica Hundmann will return years later to complain how the HD DVD format was better than Blu Ray all along

• Samsung rep Xi Tsung will reveal the new fuckable TV

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig