"It Does Not Matter How Slowly You Go As Long As You Do Not Pathmark."

 

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the limping Beagle

Me: the other limping Beagle

Hey man. I noticed we were both limping. Was yours because of a snapping turtle? Look me up, bro

You: the Chug (Chihuahua + Pug)

Me: Whoodle (Poodle + Wheaten Terrier)

Hey. I noticed that you too are a freak of nature, made solely for the amusement of our sadistic owners. Let's plan a jailbreak next weekend, yeah?

You: the howling Mexican Hairless

Me: the austere Borzoi

Lord, I am so sick of my owner asking me who's a good boy. Like I fucking know. Maybe you know? I'd love to sit down with you over a bowl of water and pick your brain. Call me!

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Here Are Your Timesheets For The Month of June

Hello everyone.

Sorry for the ALL AGENCY email, but I wanted to remind you that timesheets are due by end of day TODAY and we need all of you to submit yours before going to Wanda's goodbye party at The Hop after work.

Please take a few minutes to find your job numbers and fill out your weekly hours as usual. If you don't see your job numbers, call me or Dante at x.646 and we'll get you straightened out.

See you all at The Hop!


88359: Misquoting the Bible

52205: Looking for that goddamned bread twist-tie

17289: Resting your balls on the boss's stapler

81109: Not touching your Edible Arrangement yet for fear of looking like a pig

92044: Making a K-turn with the mail cart

61460: Getting Killswitch Engage confused with Stabbing Westward

91002: Cutting your hair and dyeing it in the bathroom to evade the Feds

20464: Giving/receiving a Purell enema

44339: Checking out your pussy in the elevator door reflection

72218: Finding someone who gets your "Where's the beef?" joke

83525: Explaining the "Grey's Anatomy" finale

The Following Entry Was Brought To You By "Pathmarkour," The New Free Running Sport That Takes Place Exclusively In Pathmark Stores!

This submitted by Andrew:

An open pregnancy test? Uh oh, somebody.

UAG

UAG

A Classic from the EADJ Vault

Dated November 21, 2005.