"Life is Too Short to Live with Regrets– Make the Most Out of Every Pathmark."

20 More Things That Are Cuter Than Ariana Grande

In an earlier segment back in 2014, we told you how Ariana Grande presents herself as the most adorable doe-eyed singing, blushing baby cat on the planet, but over a year has passed, and it's time to add to the list. (Do keep in mind that as Ariana gets older, this list will grow really fast.)

Here's the latest list of stuff cuter than Ariana Grande, much to her adorable dismay:

1. lobsters with booties on their feet

2. midgets dressed like Frankenstein

3. happy ducklings with little top hats on

4. Bing trying to convince you that it's a successful search engine

5. the way Anthony Hopkins says "cunt"

6. a cartoon whistle

7. a cat trying to eat a taco

8. those little chimneys that stick out of port-a-johns

9. twins sneezing

10. that old flying toaster screensaver

11. blooper reels

12. old men wearing rugby shirts

13. mice getting married

14. Godzooky

15. cake toppers

16. Taylor Swift (oooh burn!)

17. yogurt bites

18. college-age testicles

19. Welsh corgis

20. Manowar's second album Into Glory Ride (1983)

I See A Racist Appliance In Your Future...

6 Lies Told By The Keansburg Amusement Park and Runaway Rapids Family Waterpark Brochure

 

1) Rapids are actually not "runaway" at all, but flow safely and predictably into the Lily Pad Pool.

2) "Birthday Parties are our specialty." No, their specialty is actually defensible network analysis and in-depth statistics on how business data services are used by global enterprises, but they also do birthday parties.

3) Keansburg Amusement Park was the only section featured in New Jersey Magazine's annual "Best of Jersey." The Keansburg Runaway Rapids Waterpark was featured in "Girls And Corpses."

 

4) "Keansburg Amusement Park is filled with dozens of exciting rides..." At last count, there were 23 exciting rides, which doesn't technically qualify as "dozens." The only other ride that can be considered exciting is the main high pressure pump room, if you break in and sit on the primary piston.

5) That one kid is actually a fiberglass sculpture of former Clinton political advisor George Stephanapoulos.

6) "From french fries to fresh baked pizza, jumbo hot dogs, freshly made hamburgers, homemade waffles with ice cream or warm funnel cakes, everyone will find something they love."