Upcoming InfoWars Conspiracy Theories

Alex Jones's talented group of writers are always working on the next batshit crazy conspiracies to float into the InfoWars toilet bowl. Here are their latest new stories:

• Andersen Windows partners with CIA agents to spy on you after their bay window installations

• Joe Biden's handlers meet regularly to coordinate and manufacture his empathy, morality and sense of humor

• NO PULP orange juice is contaminated with trans baby stem cells

• Corporations get rid of toxic waste by hiding them inside all pride rainbow merchandise at Target

• Hillary Clinton has secretly been working as President behind the scenes since her birth in 1947

• No Kardashian really exists. They're all A.I. driven animations (okay, I believe that one)

UAG

The ProofrEADJer: October Edition

"Megazines."

And for the first time ever, a ProofrEADJer movie clip!

The ProofrEADJer: End of April Edition

Gray Pants Was Depressed.

Gray Pants was depressed.

Supermarket Kneepads wondered what was wrong.

Folding Step-Stool was terrified.

Gas Pump Nozzle Holder bit his upper lip.

Green Railing Bracket sucked a dick.

Princess Leia was shocked.

And this one submitted by Emily Kane: "Aunt's Guestroom Bedpost is about to get into some old timey boxing."

The ProofrEADJer: Smick Smack Smook Edition

Don't ask me what that means- I don't know either.

The ProofrEADJer, Mid-January Edition