Newest Guests Added to VidCon 2025 in Savannah, Georgia

VidCon is back and with it a slew of influencers, podcasters and online personalities, all eager to meet and greet their followers. Here are the latest guests added to the live event:

• Conte crayon master SMEARNOFF will create a live portrait of actress Jennifer Lawrence, who will not be attending

• Jack Dorsey launches a rebooted version of Vine, will speak for 8 seconds

• The guy who animates Cocomelon content will speak about his close relationship with Satan

• Former fiancees and influencers Catherine Wilkes-Haggarty and Gumble Ranceforth Distinguish will reunite briefly for a shared branded content video before never speaking to each other again

• That French chef that makes everything out of chocolate will carve a bust of every single attendee to VidCon. You laugh, but that motherfucker can do it.

Gross.

My 12 year old adds something to a painted wall in his room for "mixed media". Yuck

Today We Theorize Which Infinity Stone The Riders In The NJ Transit Survey Photo Would Claim

Okay, it's admittedly been years since "Avengers: Endgame" came out, and years since we covered the riders in the 2013 NJ Transit Satisfaction Survey. But since we're dedicated fanboys of both, let's just geek out and think a moment about which Infinity Stone our friends Jesse, Jess, Angie, Trina, Don With The Thumbs, and Simon Peter would lay claim to:

Jesse: SOUL STONE

The Soul Stone grants the user the ability to control a person's soul. Jesse being a soulless twit would thus appreciate having control over others'.

Jess: TIME STONE

We gave this one to Jess for no other reason than that she's moving her arms sort of like a clock moves its arms. I dunno.

Angie: MIND STONE

Hello? Angie's little more than just a head? Mind Stone.

Trina: POWER STONE

Trina deserves the Power Stone not just because its purple matches her top, but because despite Don With The Thumbs's desperate play for attention, she is the one truly in charge in that train car.

Don With The Thumbs: SPACE STONE

The Space Stone brants the user the ability to travel between places instantaneously. Don would appreciate this because he's standing up in a damn train and is obviously restless and impatient.

Simon Peter: REALITY STONE

Simon Peter could certainly use the ability to change reality, seeing how his life sucks and he can't even get a word in edgewise in a fictional stock photo conversation.

Well, that was pretty fun soft rebooting this crowd of 6. You'll see more of the riders of the NJ Transit Survey photo again soon, and it won't take 6+ years.

More Missed Connections From A Local Dog Park

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: Half Shiba Inc with the regal, proud tail and the "hump me" eyes.

Me: The randy dog. The terrier, to be more specific. The Bedlington Terrier to be even more specific. After initial "introductions", you went off to sniff a pole. I know my balls have been cut off, but I was still very aroused by you. My master and I are here on Tuesdays!

You: The bleach-white Samoyed

Me: The mutt with heart worms. Listen, I know you probably come from money, and I'm just a mongrel dog of a local garage owner, but maybe you're getting tired of your high class toys and all the presents from your uptown boys. You have a choice.

You: the fabulous Maltipoo

Me: the totally fierce Shih Tzu

Hey bitch! We totally need to hang out again! My human loves to shop at the same places yours does; I've seen you at Burberry and Coach before. Let's get together and paint the town with our pee! LATERZ XXXX

The Proofreadjer, Indian Summer Edition

And this one stolen from my friend Barry's Facebook:

Shitty Movie Unsolicited Tagline Dreamworld

Here are more un-asked for tag lines for the movie "Avalanche Sharks," now playing on some channel on your cable box. Probably Discovery or History Channel. Maybe Spike? Fuck.