Gross.

My 12 year old adds something to a painted wall in his room for "mixed media". Yuck

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Hulu periodically renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to the service this month:

• Euphoria - Middle School

• Comedy Central Refuses To Present

• Insufferable Jokesters

• The Roseanne Show But Without Roseanne and Now Without The Kids

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Star Trek: Between Mission Downtime

• Bitcoin Commercials From a Year Ago That Didn't Age Well

• Old Sesame Street Episodes Now in A New Aspect Ratio Where You Can See The Puppeteers' Arms

• Kremating The Kardashians

DoorDasher Photography Critique #2

Holy shit. Check out this one from "Camilla":

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MORE DRAMATIC DOORDASHER PHOTO?!

My God, it's like Hitchcock. Who took the photo? Why is the car idling in the middle of the road? What horror of horrors is Camilla about to commit on my doorstep? 

It must be stated that the biggest strength of this photo is the composition. Everything is contained in the doorframe whose shape is echoed in the open door itself. Both frame the action of Camilla ascending the stares, providing thrilling tension with the perspective and repeating lines of the stairs. A mundane delivery is transformed into a nail biting thriller of the highest order. Truly, truly excellent work!

Grade: A+++

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: The too-cool-for-school Sheltie, walking around the main playground rather than running through it

Me: The half Boxer/Collie who had sniffed your butt already at the entrance but wanted to sniff more

Call me when you want to get together. No, wait. Neither of us have phones. :(

--------------

You: The yappy Chihuahua 

Me: The yappy Pomeranian 

Hey dude you seem pretty cool dude we should totally meet up sometime and hang out dude you know what I mean I don't want to sound too pushy but I got a good vibe from you dude and we should totally hang out that would be cool dude don't you think okay see you later dude bye

--------------

You: That white dog

Me: The half blind Doberman

Hey there white dog. I can't see too good at my age but I remember your color. You were smallish and white and smelled delicious. Hit me up when you get this– I'm pretty hungry white dog

UAG

A Question For Hollywood

Do we really need a "badass," violent reboot of Hansel and Gretel? Is Hollywood so creatively bankrupt that they have to resort to turning pages from Mother Goose into R-rated CGI crapfests? Answer: Yes.

"But you haven't even seen the movie," naysayers might say. Yes, I have. I was unfortunate enough to have watched "Snow White and The Huntsman," the "badass," violent reboot of the popular children's story, in the theatre. It had badass killer dwarfs. And a badass Snow White eating a badass poison apple that makes her go to badass sleep. Adding a layer of badass over every detail of a familiar story doesn't make it more "contemporary" or "relevant to our times" or whatever it is the filmmakers are trying to push on us. It just looks self-serious and silly.

And while we're on the subject, can we quit with the modernized reboots of fairy tales as badass crime TV shows? Ooohh, police respond to a possible homicide involving a morbidly obese man named H. Dumpty who fell from his luxury balcony in the Upper West Side! Get it?

I was going to end this entry with a bit where I write fake episode summaries of these shows (Little Bo Peep, Hey Diddle Diddle, The Pied Piper, etc) but unlike the networks, I realize you already know how lamely that would play out and I don't want to waste your time. So instead, here's a photo of my neighbor clearing brush on Christmas Day: