UAG

The ProofrEADJer: Illiterate Public Spaces Edition

A Bunch Of Dumb Things Paparazzi Often Say To Celebrities

"Over here!"

"Happy Rosh Hashanah, Mr. Clooney!"

"Are you ever reuniting with Sean Penn?"

"Is that a cold sore?"

"Over here! Over here! Over here! What are you famous for, again?"

"What are your thoughts on German Chancellor Angela Merkel?"

"Show us your pussy!"

"Did you kill Heath Ledger?"

"I really liked your tits in 'Glee.'"

"Your fly is open. Psyche!"

"Look into my camera hole!"

"¿Cómo te llamas?"

"Mom?"

"Pizza delivery over here! Not really!" click

"Aren't you Sheldon from 'Big Bang Theory?' I hate that show."

"Taylor Swift, could you get out of the way? Rosie O' Donnell's behind you."

"That's it. Arch your back, Mr. Aiken!"

"These are gonna be the best shots of you in sweatpants, I swear!"

"I really enjoyed your performance in 'Norbert.'"

"Show us your ballsack!"

"Is that an Oscar-nominated vanilla latte you're holding?"

"Wow, you're even hotter when you're trying to hit me with your car!"

"Look over here! Look over here! I'm sitting on your cat!"

"This is a bottom feeder's job, and I'm just right for it!"

"Over here, Mr. Zmed!"

Death, Taxes, and Pathmark

I used to love doing this bit. Then I grew tired of it. Then I quit doing it. Then I reluctantly started doing the bit again. Now I love it again. It's so... comforting.

Helllooooo Octavius!!!!!!

(pictured above, photographic proof that nobody's happy on the Free Trolley)