The ProofrEADJer: February Edition

Cakeside Accident Leaves Two Dead

Midtown (AP) -- Police responded to a call on the top of a birthday cake in midtown this afternoon to find the grisly accident scene of a head-on collision between two plastic cars. Among the wreckage of fondant, plastic shards and icing were the bodies of brother and sister Dora and Diego, two popular children's show cartoon characters.


A preliminary estimate from forensics experts states that both cars were speeding on the slippery icing, and Diego had just crossed the one-lane bridge over the icing river with nowhere else to turn. The report also suggests that before hitting the other car, Dora swerved to avoid hitting a paper tree. It has not yet been determined if alcohol or fruit punch was a factor.

The body of Diego was thrown from his vehicle at such a velocity that it ended up on a nearby Hey Gabba Gabba cake. Dora's body was found near a cake corner and was quickly claimed by the birthday boy. Funeral arrangements have not yet been announced.

A Special Cinco De Mayo Greeting From Cement Bird

Cement Bird, as some of you might remember, can only communicate through shitty FWD emails.


----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Ron
To: Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, December 15, 2009 1:24:05 AM
Subject: Fw: [Fwd: Fw: Obituary YOU MUST READ THIS!!!!!]





Find Out How You Can Start Making $6487 a Month At HOME

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.5.427 / Virus Database: 270.14.108/2565 - Release Date: 12/14/09 19:40:00

Okay... I appreciate the preachy FWD, Cement Bird. But your timing sucks on two counts: it's two weeks past Easter, and Osama Bin Laden just died, so are you sure you want to throw out an obituary so close to that news? Just sayin'.

Oh, also, you misspelled "Jerusalem."

Bonus Video

Video: That Chinese CGI recreation of the Tiger Woods car accident that's all over the Internet.

Audio: My parents and J'Net discussing the Tiger Woods car accident from a previous entry.

Let's Refer To the EADJ As "Snazzy," Even Though That Word Makes Us Feel Incredibly Uncomfortable!

Submitted by John Reid, a headline that came very close to becoming the next blog masthead.