The Answers To Tomorrow's Episode of "Spin That Button" Game Show

1) Niels Bohr

2) Yes

3) 6

4) The Princess Bride

5) Cooties

6) U.S. Representative Maria Elvira Salazar

7) Georges Danton

8) Quisp

9) Steve Harwell

10) Trundle beds

EADJ Fact Checkers

 Spotted in an NYC K-Mart (don't ask)

"TENNIS Champion?" Psht. Very, very unlikely.

That girl looks about 1 year old. 

WTA and ITF Women's Tennis Circuit 2019 rules state: 

A 16-year-old may play up to 12 professional events (WTA & ITF Women's Circuit), WTA Championships (if she qualifies), plus Fed Cup. A 17-year-old may play up to 16 professional events (WTA & ITF Women's Circuit), WTA Championships (if she qualifies), plus Fed Cup.

And according to 

United States Tennis Association (USTA) Junior Tournaments rules:

Players often compete in multiple divisions, playing above their age in addition to their current age division. All USTA members are divided by location into sections, with some junior tournaments restricting entry only to players in the section they are held.

So K-Mart is implying that this little 1 year old girl at the very LEAST played against other kids multiple times and won without being able to stand or walk or even having enough upper body strength to lift a tennis racquet. 

EADJ Fact Checker Status: BULLSHIT CALLED

Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs How To Get Out of a Headlock

Great question....oof. A headlock is a very... (gasp)... powerful submission hol... hold. (Struggles) When your attacker or opponent... ack... initiates an attempt, you must... ohgod... exert maximum effort to escape. First, turn your, uh, head toward your... attacker. Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch Then turn into your opponent's body... *cough* so your airway is... no... no longer constricted... ACK! Stun your attacker by... no, ouch I can't breathe... using your ha... hand closest to the front of your attacker's body to strike in the gut or ribs with your elbow. Striking your attacker in the gut and... guh... ribs works for both male and female atta... *neck snaps*

New York. The Most Exciting City In The World.

Spotted on the 7 Train platform at Grand Central Terminal, an abandoned banana, or "abandonana."

I ☾NY

Matt's Audience Awaits

from Matt G's Facebook Wall:

How To Make Larry Look Black.

(pictured above, Larry overhears a conversation about Pat Boone and teeth whiteners)