AMC Stubs program is adding some serious upgrades for both existing and new members. Here are the latest new perks of the program:
• Premier access to first run movies (only the ones starring actor Bradley Whitford)
• Free tub of Vaseline to apply to your annoyingly squeaky seat
• Enjoy movies under the stars while we wait for a roof replacement
• One of our employees Casey is a very good Dune popcorn bucket, if you catch our meaning.
• Free AMC Stubs promotional emails to you every day for the rest of your life
• Bottomless bucket of expired Jujubes
• You can put your feet up on the seat in front of you. Hell, put them on the shoulders of the person sitting there. We don't care.
• Free high speed wifi so you can text and scroll Facebook instead of watching the movie like the infuriating inconsiderate shit that you are
