The ProofrEADJer: Midmarch Edition

Stubs Membership Updates

AMC Stubs program is adding some serious upgrades for both existing and new members. Here are the latest new perks of the program:

• Premier access to first run movies (only the ones starring actor Bradley Whitford) 

• Free tub of Vaseline to apply to your annoyingly squeaky seat

• Enjoy movies under the stars while we wait for a roof replacement

• One of our employees Casey is a very good Dune popcorn bucket, if you catch our meaning.

• Free AMC Stubs promotional emails to you every day for the rest of your life

• Bottomless bucket of expired Jujubes

• You can put your feet up on the seat in front of you. Hell, put them on the shoulders of the person sitting there. We don't care.

• Free high speed wifi so you can text and scroll Facebook instead of watching the movie like the infuriating inconsiderate shit that you are

The ProofrEADJer: January Edition

"You're," not "Your." English the Easy Way my ass.

"Casted" a vote? Nope.

"Always discrete shipping." Meaning they'll mail you dildos one by one.

Happy Labor Day Weekend From EADJ

Childbirth is an exciting, exhilarating new stage in your life. Your body will go through a harrowing but ultimately rewarding transformation from woman to child bearer. This transformation is known as labor.

Your contractions- as they get closer together- will herald your new life, both literally and figuratively. Stay attuned to your body's signals as you enjoy the natural drum roll that is labor. Feel the way your body seizes up and your pulse quickens as your uterine muscles begin pushing that placental miracle towards your vaginal opening. Also, pay special attention to the acute new feelings of elastic agony that your labia majora and labia minora encounter as they're stretched to the limit. Burn a candle.

Wait, this weekend isn't about that? Oh, right.

***UPDATE*** I already made this lame joke five years ago! I'm finished creatively!

The ProofrEADJer

I'm just going to post the photos, not make any snarky remarks. Who am I, Jay Leno?



Close up:





Only one sign was corrected after a few days: