This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

See what happens when you compliment DDG on his "cute outfit"?

She looks bored but good. Keep as is.

There's baked, and then there's papier-mâché baked.

Leave that mask on, Don. Maybe it'll give your eyelids a chance to catch up to the tan on the rest of your face.

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!!

The album cover for "I Feel Like Dirt". Gee, I wonder what their second thought idea was.

Ain't no shame in a pizza delivery job. Spider-Man did it.

Iggy Azalea would like you to think she's some kind of Disney Princess. Which is sort of accurate when it comes to cultural appropriation.

Crime, conspicuous consumption and pride. But do rappers really want to associate themselves with the president's resort?

Building Dome Was Scared: An EADJ Christmas Special

Building Dome was scared.

Buck-toothed TP Dispenser felt bad.

Printer Paper Tray Guide was upset.

Lemons and Containers sat next to each other, screaming.

Refrigerator Magnet was sad that his black nipples had to show.

Bound and Gagged Register Plug struggled to get  help.

Recycling Bin bellowed for everyone to get together.

Speakers and TV loudly invited everyone over.

Parking Meter smiled at the turnout.

Powerbeats3 Wireless Earphones smiled as well.

S&M Thomas the Tank Engine made an appearance.

So did Donald J. Trump, the president of the United States.

Best part of all, Man-Thing showed up!

Someone brought a pony with an upside down face.

Tarp and Brackets was positively thrilled.

And everyone took selfies afterward. Merry Christmas!

More Underused Hashtags, Presidential Edition

Don't hold your breath looking for these in 45's tweet storms:

#blessed

#TEDTalk

#fucktheNRA

#ilovemywife

#nomoregolfing

#eatinghealthy

#blacklivesmatter

#globalwarming

#iapologizetorosieodonnell

#iapologizetohillaryclinton

#iapologizetoanyoneingeneral

#maybeIshoulddosomethingtohelppeopleforonce

#iamirredeemablehumangarbageandhavemadetheworldworsefrommyveryexistence

Racist Appliances: Tiny-Handed President Elect Edition

Happy Presidents Day (3 Days Late) From EADJ!

I can't believe we forgot Presidents Day this year. It's been such a hallowed tradition. When is it, again?

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with Presidential Inauguration Facts

Yeah, I don't know a ton about inaugurations, so I'm just gonna wing it, if that's okay:

Thomas Jefferson was the first President to be sworn in wearing a hat.

James Polk was sworn in on a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves."

Herbert Hoover won both a Strongest Man contest and a radio call-in competition the day before his inauguration.

The word "inauguration" means "hobo marriage" in Swahili.

Bill Clinton was inaugurated not on the Capitol steps but at a Caribou Coffee in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.


I'm gonna quit right there, because I feel foolish making this stuff up. I don't like pretending to know about something that I really don't. Like that time some dean for some university rode in my town car and started talking about the deficit. I started running my mouth and could tell in the rear view mirror that he wasn't buying it. That was an uncomfortable ride.

Flea market, Montgomery! It's just like, it's just like, a minidick.

Joel spent President's Day tooling around the house scratching his now-defined pecs.

Later in the afternoon, neighbors in the complex complained of the smell when Joel decided to try grilling bologna and dick with vinegar on his porch. Noise complaints were also filed when Joel started cranking his Saigon Kick albums. Joel almost got arrested when he refused to turn it down until the last verse of "Spanish Rain" was done. Police, as usual, let him off with a stern warning.

Mrs. Betterham next door tried to start a conversation with him about her favorite soap, "Wicked Wicked Games." Either social awkwardness or painful memories of the botched screenplay prevented Joel from engaging with her. He instead stared at her pale, pendulous breasts hanging low in front of her belly, swaying lazily every time she shifted weight onto another foot. He asked her if she had a son or nephew nearby. Or anyone with dick.

Joel spent the rest of the day alone.

(pictured above, Joe Baran provides a visual balance to his incandescent forehead)