UAG

You Voted? Great.

When you think about it, getting an "I Voted" sticker is unnecessary. Voting is a civic duty– you're supposed to vote. Why get a sticker for something you should be doing anyway?

Here are some other stickers you should earn, using that logic:

New EADJ Segment: Lame Vintage Leno Monologue!

The ProofrEADJer: Early June Edition

I think they mean Atlantis, although Atlanta is lovely, too.

Mike Collins better put the hammer down on his proofreader.

Upcoming InfoWars Conspiracy Stories

Alex Jones continues to push his writers to come up with the batshit craziest conspiracy lunacy to inject into public discourse. Here are the latest conspiracies that he will inject into his upcoming shows:

• Starbucks are communist collectives designed to poison capitalist workers with overpriced caffeine to make them TOO productive.

• People who work at aquariums around the country are all Mormon socialists, planning to marry all the dolphins and spread the fish/wealth

• Grimace is actually a large virulent fungus engineered by McDonald's to devour all uneaten burgers in parking lots

• Public librarians have been trained by the Mossad to assassinate anyone who defaces children's books about Hanukkah

• Soul legend Ray Charles was a foreign operative, and his song "Georgia On My Mind" was about the Georgian Soviet Socialist Republic that he missed so much

Spotted at An Art Festival

Pro tip: When running a food business, try to avoid the word “anus” in your Instagram handle.

Let's Say Goodbye To Some Shit!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!