The Dickside Chats, Part Five (Final Installment)

In commemoration of the upcoming EADJ Entry #400, Eat A Dick Joel had asked Seattle reporter Andrew Gall to sit down and interview Joel himself on his ruminations, porridge, and general pterodactyls on this eponymous blog. This was part five– and the final installment– of a very Shuwetty, very palindromic series:

Joel: (continued from the part four) If anyone can find my original website, I'll be eternally grateful. I can't remember what I called the damned thing. It's not davidsbiblepagesarestucktogether.blogspot.com. I checked that one.

Andrew: Don't get testy there, Joelenator. I know you were the first. And I believe I was the one who brought to attention actual text from the page, and I quote: "yeah yeah David oh yeah." For goodness sakes, if we could only locate this decaying corpse of a blog and resurrect it. I'd give my left ring finger for that. Alright Joel, you've been a pretty good sport with this whole thing. Let's do some word association to close things out, shall we? I'll say a word, then you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Ready? Go.

Dick.

Joel: David.

Andrew: Chad Yarbrough.

Joel: amuse bouche

Andrew: Tyanna.

Joel: Dick in Russian?

Andrew: Watch.

Joel: Noel's amuse bouche?

Andrew: Walrus.

Joel: Cock ooh ka chew?

Andrew: Farts.

Joel: Get away from my food?

Andrew: Frats.

Joel: The lack of vagina is nice though. Like a chinese food place with no MSG.

Andrew: Cam'ron.

Joel: ar' you trying to be a pirat'?

Andrew: Freaknik.

Joel: I lived in atlanta. Good times. Good times.

(pictured above, Andrew's Dad fashions a comfortable safety belt strap from a golf towel as he drives through rugged and hilly Nebraska)

Minazo, We Hardly Knew Ye.

(AP) Yokohama (Kyodo) Minazo, Japan's largest seal, died this week having charmed visitors for 10 1/2 years at Enoshima Aquarium in Fujisawa Kanagawa Prefecture, aquarium officials said.

Minazo quickly rose to stardom at the aquarium, where his three shows a day proved a hit with visitors. More recently, he became a web phenomenon on ihasabucket.com

Minazo brought such joy to Japanese children. He can only be replaced now by video games, sticker machines, dolls, talking robots, violent game shows, anime, manga, tamagochi, Gundam, panties in vending machines, bubble gum beverages, chillingly deviant pornography, vinyl toys, Hello Kitty, complicated toilets, cosplay, chindogu, karaoke, Dance Dance Revolution, hotels where you sleep in a tube, super-advanced cell phones, drift-car racing, and dressing up like James Dean.

A funeral service will be held on Friday at the Enoshima Mausoleum and Food Court. Celebrities such as Young Jeezy and Tianna, the angora bunny, are expected to attend.