Programming Lineup Changes at Hulu

The following shows and movies will be ADDED TO the Hulu streaming service this month:

• The Equalizer On The Stereo That Dad Keeps Telling You Not To Mess With

• Fatal Stunt Bloopers

• Saved By The Bell: Remote Learning Generation

• Moms Who Get Off Their Ass And Dance For Once

• Boring Woodworking Show Where No One Cuts Off An Arm

The following shows and movies will be REMOVED FROM the Hulu streaming service this month:

• The Step-By-Step Guide To Hacking Your Laptop To Get Free Hulu Forever

• CNN Town Hall with Psychopathic Racist Murderer Who's Running For Public Office

• PBS Anthropological Nudity

• The Married Bachelor

• Antarctica's Got Talent

Even More Memorable Lines To Movies I Haven't Watched

"An angry granny charging at me with two knitting needles."

(translated from Swedish) "This barn is the right size but too drafty to host our wedding reception."

"Hey goat. It's good to see you. I like your beard. I had a beard like that in "The Perfect Storm". Did you see that movie?"

"Ever feel like you're doing the same thing over and over again?"

"No, this is my first movie."

"Forgive me, Father, for I am about to find out what's under those vestments!" 

"Why do they call you 'Pegging Peggy?' OHHH."

The Dove Body Language Messenger

Last night I downloaded the Dove Body Language Messenger, a free app on the iPhone App Store. What I thought would be some advanced technology that can read your friends' body language to read their emotions turned out to be a gimmicky "women making letters of the alphabet" branded sharable digital doodad.


Here's how it works: you type a message, and the ladies do fancy yoga poses that eventually spell out what you typed. Wow! Cool neato, right? I can't believe this app is free!!!!!!



The catch is, you can't type "FUCK" or "SHIT" or "COCK" or anything fun, because otherwise you get gently scolded by the app:


Alright, then. Challenge accepted. Type something offensive or funny to my friends without using the standard four-letter expletives. I spent the next hour last night typing up messages and emailing them to Andrew, Vince, and Brad Harvey. Here is a sampling:









You can download this unintentionally hilarious app here.

Jessica Threads the Needle

As promised, here is a video of Jessica showing how to cut through the Planners' Ghetto to get to the bathroom.