The ProofrEADJer: End o' May Edition

The Newest Hot Crowdfunding Projects on Kickstarter

Want to get on the ground floor of a potentially great new product? Or do you just like to fund something with no guarantees because you like to live dangerously? Well, here are the newest Kickstarters projects you can help fund:

•  Illustrated trading cards of your favorite local drug dealers with phone numbers

• A device that pops when you ask it nicely to pop

• Coupons for "giving a shit" that you can give to your relatives

• An ABS WASHBOARD. You've heard of washboard abs– well, this is an actual washboard with an AB texture on it! Hilarious, right? Hey, where you going?

• Nipple clamps that look like Arthur from the Nickelodeon show

• A VR headset that simulates you actually getting into a club for once

• Dog dildos. Not dildos for dogs, but dildos that are shaped like dogs. Never mind. The FBI is on their way.

• A hairdryer that tells you you're running late and have already missed 15 minutes of the goddamned recital, Samantha. Jesus.

Even More Memorable Lines To Movies I Haven't Watched

"An angry granny charging at me with two knitting needles."

(translated from Swedish) "This barn is the right size but too drafty to host our wedding reception."

"Hey goat. It's good to see you. I like your beard. I had a beard like that in "The Perfect Storm". Did you see that movie?"

"Ever feel like you're doing the same thing over and over again?"

"No, this is my first movie."

"Forgive me, Father, for I am about to find out what's under those vestments!" 

"Why do they call you 'Pegging Peggy?' OHHH."

Even More Dialogue From Movies I Haven't Seen

 

"We did it! We beat the grown-ups at their own game! We can finally DRIVE AT THE AGE OF 15!!!!"

(mumbled tough guy line in a grizzled cockney accent)

"FUCK yeah! Merry fucking Christmas, everybody!"

"Now where is it... Oh, I see it! There's my antiperspirant made for women!"

"Okay, back it up a little... now cut it... no, cut it to the left. The left... now straighten it out and go forward a little.... straighten it... Stop. Now back it up again but cut it the other way, hard... "

(can't understand anything because the audio recording is so bad)

"I SAID I WANTED A PS5, NOT A PS4!" (plunges knife into Santa)

"You and I are not so different, you and I."