Brutal Finishing Moves of the New Mortal Kombat Game

Earlier in April, Mortal Kombat X (or MKX) was released for the PS4, Xbox One and Steam, and like its predecessors, features tons of violent finishing moves, or Fatalities.

Here is a list of the new Fatality finishing moves:

• Cassie Cage destroys Liu Kang's antivaccination rationale

• Takeda completely rips on Sonya Blade's Netflix rental history

• Kung Jin grabs Goro by the arm and tells him in private to "cool it about black people"

• Sub-Zero refuses to acknowledge Kitana at the next meet 'n greet mixer

• Kenshi doesn't deposit enough money into his and Quan Chi's joint bank account, thereby causing serious overdraft fees

• Mileena promises to pick you up at Baggage Claim but instead parks in Short Term and doesn't tell you

• Scorpion intentionally pronounces Kano's name wrong

• Johnny Cage disembowels D'Vorah, slashes her throat, and then skips out on their bar tab, leaving her to pay for everything

• Raiden starts texting to Goro, causing the gray circles in Chat by his name to show up, but doesn't end up typing anything at all, leaving Goro totally in suspense

The ProofrEADJer, January Edition

You Know What's A Harder Job Than Being A Stockboy At Pathmark?

Being the blogger trying to keep track of whether you'd already posted certain photos of mis-stocked items.

As far as I can tell, none of these shots have been published on EADJ before. But who knows. It's not like I'm any more organized than they are.










This one sort of makes sense:



























BONUS BEATS:

This shot was taken at a Wawa:


And this one from Home Depot:

I'm Not the Target.

Spotted on Third Avenue: A poster for "Pop Your Panties, with Paris, Nicole & Lindsay," an original music video short playing at the ImaginAsian Theater. Yeah.

Can you not get enough celebrity coverage of a bunch of useless Hollywood vag? Do you miss seeing music videos? Do you want to get out of the house for one night to get your eardrums raped for charity? Then come on down to the ImaginAsian Theater!

The top of the poster bills Ashley Michaelsen as Paris, Tiffany Lee as Nicole, and Kimberly Magness as Lindsay in the video short, but further down Zelma Davis is Paris, Cricket is Nicole, and Susanne Depperman is Lindsay performing "Plastic Paris."

More info at PopYourPanties.com

Or see the bizarre country music video here!

Or buy the music video for your iPhone on iTunes!

Or shoot yourself in the eye!

Helllooooo Octavius!!!!!!

(pictured above, photographic proof that nobody's happy on the Free Trolley)