Some Available (But Terrible) Porn Star Names

Congrats on your first porn shoot! We’re all ready to begin shooting your debut scene, but first we'll need you to pick a porn name to use in our end credits and IMDB. Here's a dispensary shopping bag full of porn names that you can pick from. Help yourself, but be warned– quite a few of these are stupid:

Him

Fenton L.

Lou Hanging Fruit

Taw Keenaway (from the lyrics to “Take On Me” by a-Ha)

A. Grant FromSchwab

Transthoracic Echocardiogram

Uber Driver

Moe Curly

Her

Meggin’ Strips

Preg Nancy

Amber Alert

Syphilis Diller

Gia Think?

Lunette Ick

Concertina Wyre

Rhoda Dendron

Say Goodbye To More Marketing Bullshit

Buh-Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

The ProofrEADJer: April Edition

Attention, Galaxoroma: hire a proofreader for your social posts.

 

Mmmmmaybe Problematic

An ad for "Gangster Rapper Sculpture Garden/Home Decor" features the likenesses of legendary rappers Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac:

 

I mean, it's great, and they are pretty good likenesses of the late rappers, but put it in front of your home or in your yard, and it will remind a lot of people of those old lawn jockey statues.

From Wikipedia: 

Because of the prevalence of black lawn jockeys with exaggerated features, the item is often regarded as being symbolic of the racism and racist imagery prevalent in the United States during the eras of slavery and Jim Crow laws. Today, lawn jockeys are often depicted as Caucasian boys to distance the artifact from racial connotations. 

So just something to think about before sinking $19.99 into these.

The ProofrEADJer: January Isn't Over Yet? Edition

A Few More Things That Are Cuter Than Ariana Grande

Previous entries on this subject can be seen here.

For years now, Ariana Grande has presented herself as a dimply, aw-shucks pop songstress that's just as cute as a baby button. But EADJ has a list of 20 things that happen to be cuter than her:

1. Cartoon caterpillars

2. Jane Wiedlin (circa 1989)

3. Otters holding hands while floating

4. A Sanrio version of Snuggles the fabric softener bear

5. Finger sandwiches

6. The Flintstone vitamin of Dino

7. Satin short shorts for American Girl dolls

8. Keith, the host at Olive Garden in San Mateo, California

9. those tiny rubber bands that used to go on people's braces

10. flute solos

11. fat men who can't do somersaults

12. Toffifay

13. Pluto still hanging in there

14. The lowercase letters of the Century Gothic font

15. The tiny island of Tubou in Fiji

16. Minecraft pigs

17. Nightlight bulbs

18. Calling an amputated limb a "boo-boo"

19. Airplane bottles of wine

20. The word "shew"

The ProofrEADJer: New Year Edition!