Newest Rewards Added to the AMC Stubs Program

AMC Theatres are retaining their moviegoing customers with their hugely successful Stubs membership program. A yearly subscription gets you plenty of in-theatre perks, and the list is constantly growing. Here are the latest new benefits of signing up:

• 5 extra minutes of trailers to movies you have no intention of seeing

• Raisinets / Goobers exchange program

• A promise not to have someone with huge hair sit in front of you

• If you're suffering from hemorrhoids, we will scrunch up a bag of popcorn into one o' those donut cushions for you

• First dibs on a special Lady Sybil Crawley edition Downton Abbey popcorn bucket 

• Special glasses that make it look like you're watching a movie at home rather than with a bunch of random losers

Let's Say Goodbye To All The Things Marketers Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Client Feedback Time!!!!!!

Poor Tom.

John Hederdick Joel

Hamachi uni tekkamaki. Maguro hirame unagi ikura kazunoko. Hirame hotate tobiko sake tako seigo sayori. Usuzukuri sashimi wasabi yakitori torigai. Kurabota sunomono, tataki saba udon ebi kani chirashi. Takuwan goma ae gari kani don otaru shiro tekkyu ninjin? Nasu gobo shisonomi siitake kappa horenso maki.

Takuwan nasu kyuri kanpyo tobiko saba maguro ika– natto takuwan futomaki kani kai hamachi.

(Pictured above, J'Net is shocked by the futomaki offerings, much to Jessica's concern)