Let's Say Goodbye To All The Things Marketers Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Upcoming Conspiracies For 2023 From InfoWars

Angry, gullible dumb guys have a lot to look forward to this new year. Here are some stories that Alex Jones and his writers are getting ready for them:

• Office Max is selling literal WOKE AGENDAS in their stationery section

• Since they have mostly voted Republican, Iowa voters will soon wake up with a free "Freedom iPad" under their pillow

• Some breeds of cat have the ability to walk on 5G frequencies to heaven to say hello to your Maw-maw

• When black people say the words "haunt me" really fast, it sounds like they're saying something else

• Events in history will now be referred as either "B.P.G" (before Pizzagate) or "A.P.G." (after Pizzagate)

• High blood pressure makes you smarter

• The band Paramore is pretty talented, but not as talented as Alter Bridge or Led Zeppelin

• Tim Pool has a beautiful, lush head of hair under that beanie cap

The EADJ Crappinema Presents The Casino Job

Let me start off by warning you that this review might be a wee tad shorter than other Crappinema write-ups, mainly because the DVD to this movie had been damaged after being tossed about in the K-Mart cutout bin. The disc caused the movie to crash and skip entire key scenes throughout its viewing. And no, one of those "DVD Scratch Repair Kits" wouldn't help, either.

"The Casino Job" is the story of four attractive women Jennifer, Amber, Paradise and Torri (and their boyfriends) who pull off a huge heist in a Vegas casino using only the power of their boobs and their feminine wiles. Which includes boobs. Witty dialogue? No. Magnificent scenic vistas? Nope. Boobs? HEY, BUDDY, YOU'RE IN LUCK!!!!

The following is verbatim dialogue from this scene:

Her: Shit! That's a waste of two days.

Him: He's out. No pun intended.

Him: So what do you got going on for the next 12 hours?

Her: Why?

Him: Cuz, I think maybe you could come over for a little while.

Her: And do what?

Him: Well, I was just… you could just…

Her: How about… twenty minutes of foreplay, followed by some hard sweaty fucking… I'll start by getting down on my knees and taking off your pants…

H

im: (removing his sunglasses) Shut up. Just shut up.

(She looks confused)

Him: You had me at hard sweaty fucking.

(they kiss stupidly)

Well, shit. This was a formatting nightmare.

Overall grade: F

Still, tits.